Tag Archives: Psychology

#Boundaries, #Happiness, #Narcissism, #Relationships, #SelfHelp, Psychology

Games Narcissists Play

Don’t let a Narcissist stop you from believing in yourself!  Your opinion DOES count! Your goals and dreams count. You have a right to them. You have a right to succeed–and to FEEL HAPPY about it. Despite their discouragement, or criticisms, or jealousy of you.

Narcissists are too controlling, domineering, they lack empathy, its all about them, and you get pushed into the background, ignored, put down and invalidated. Its an Awful way to live.  Get a job. Have your own car, your own phone. SEE your friends–without the Narcissist always being with you. Have your own laptop or tablet.  BELIEVE in yourself.

Here is a very informative video from Dr. Les Carter.  He clearly explains bad things a Narcissist will do to you, or tactics they will use against you. But there is Hope. Now, you know. You are aware. You have the knowledge. Use it, even silently, to survive and gain strength, and freedom from the Narcissist.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwgWCH1iyUk      –theOwl30    PS– i post music/songs, and opinions on Psychology, Spirituality, Books, Old TV shows and more at:  http://www.thewordpressowl.wordpress.com

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#Happiness, #Health, #Relationships, #SelfHelp, Books, Personality-Types, Psychology

Self-Help Book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” by John A. Schindler M.D.

LIfe has its stresses and hassles.  Sometimes we may feel too worried, or depressed, or angry, or too rushed, or irritated by aggravations.

It would nice, if more of the time, we could feel both: 1. Calm and 2. Happy

John A. Schindler M.D. and his book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” can be a big help with that.  The book was written years ago but is still very relevant and accurate, today.

No, it’s not another book on “Mindfulness” or “positive thinking” or visualization. More down to earth and physical and some solid everyday advice.

It talks about how we can be “calm, and happy. –Right now.” You will also get a mini-education about: Glands and hormones.  No worries, he keeps it simple and not too technical, but you will likely find it eye-opening.

What is STH? What is ACTH? What can be the long-term effect of too much of these? Who was Dr. Hans Seyle?  The book mentions that “Good Emotions are your best medicine!”  Several times, you will be presented with a real-life situation, and see how 2 different people handled it, one in a healthy way, the other one not so much. You can see the difference.  This is realistic advice you can put into practice. You will also learn more about your body chemistry and how it affects you.

Who doesn’t want to feel more “Calm. and Happy. –Right now”?   Amazon.com should have this book. Barnes & Noble should be able to order it. Get it. Read it. It is definitely “time well-spent”.   🙂   You’ll feel better.   PS—I post about a variety of topics. Scroll down and see my last 12 posts, or explore my monthly archives. Thanks for stopping by.    –the Owl

#Boundaries, #Happiness, #Law Enforcement, #Life, #Service, Cops, Covid 19, Police, Psychology, Travel, Virus

“Essential Workers “?–what about YOU?

OK, someone has to say it.  How do you feel about other people saying your job is “not essential?”   Really?!?  Are Nurses, Police, and Microbiologists and Truck Drivers who bring food to the grocery stores the only ones who “Count”?

Lately, if you are not already working in one of those professions, it may seem as if  you don’t matter, You are not “essential”. I say that’s wrong.

The world is a better place, for having Nurses, police, etc.—BUT—

Look at the next time your City had elections, and people running for office with commercials on TV—and be Aware—what do 95% of those commercials always make it a point to say?:  (wait for it):…..
“Candidate Kathy Johnson is ENDORSED BY:

A) the local School board or teachers union

B) the Firefighters Union

C) the Nurses Union……….and there you have it!  Haven’t you already seen this on TV last time?  Always the same:  Police, Nurses, Teachers, and Firefighters.  Gawwwd, yes. As long as we’ve got those under-our-belt it’s as if nooooo one else matters!  The rest of you just don’t count, or “measure up”.  If you say they don’t really believe that, then I ask: then why make such a big deal out of this or that person having that endorsement to  begin with, as if its some Diamond Ace-in-the-Hole card to play?

What about YOU?  Are you a waitress?  Admin. Assistant? Anything non-medical?  Work in the Mall?  Bus driver?  Work at Staples or Target?  Computer repair?  Smartphone Salesperson?   Furniture Sales?   Cook in a restaurant?  Don’t YOU matter, too?   Did you go to work yesterday? No? Who decided? When will you go back? Who decides?–and will *that* person or persons be dependent on any gov’t check, loan or relief -for themselves??  If you are still waiting to return to work, when will you “Matter” again?

I saw someone carrying a sign on TV that said: Your fear doesn’t stop my Rights!” Amen to that.

We want safety, and we don’t want to be reckless, but we can’t wait around until someone can guarantee perfection, either, which wont happen anyway.  We can never completely escape all risk.  Life goes on.

The world is a better place by having people who can respond and help during emergencies.  God Bless ’em.   But they are not the only ones who are “Heroes” -or who matter! People have rights.

 

 

#Advice, #Happiness, #Youtube, Psychology

“MasterClass”–yet another politically-correct Fad

Lately, I am seeing more and more people on Youtube and online, suddenly offering to do a “Master Class” on this or that topic.  Ppfffffftt!  We already have “Webinars”, now that’s not enough and people feel the need to offer a “MasterClass”.  But why? Or—-let me put this another way:

Go ahead and give, or share, the information with your audience, but—-why *call* it a MasterClass at all?  To me, this is just one more way for anyone to  feed their own Ego, that they “know” and—-you don’t. But hey! Out of the kindness of their Heart (cough, cough) they’re going to let you in, onto “the Secret Knowledge”, so that at last, YOU can feel: “Empowered”, “Enlightened” and maybe even  (gasp!) “transformed” (another politically-correct buzzword), so that you can feel new heights of Peak performance, awakened Intuition and success-consciousness, using the latest “ground-breaking, forward-thinking, cutting edge modalities” to be a “power-success” in today’s overloaded rush-hour world.  My, my! How Exciting!

In all seriousness, why not just make another Blog-post and Title it “How To……”and then type or write how to do—whatever.  How to overcome.  How to Deal with….or the Answer to….or Effective Tips to deal with—-whatever.

Most of the people offering a so-called “Master Class” are not PH.D’s, or scholars or someone with 30yrs. experience sharing their wealth of experience. Nope. Most of the time, its either one of the thousands and thousands of today’s “Life Coaches” (One of THE most presumptious things to ever be created! Who was, the very first “Life Coach” in the last 50 yrs. anyway?)  or “Intuitive’s” (its all the Rage! “Everybody” wants to be an “intuitive” but too often they cant prove the worth of their advice. They either “just feel it” or got it from a “spirit guide” or are offering tons of advice when they themselves have much too little experience.”  Too often, they are practically “Cheerleaders” trying to be Psychologist-wannabe’s!

But Hey! They are going to go even beyond a “deep dive” and Bless you with an all-out “MasterClass”!   Bah! This is pure “posing” and trying to feed their own ego or sense of self-importance.  Why?  Because, just take a look around….these days “everybody and his/her dog” wants to be:   a trainer, instructor, Intuitive, guide, teacher, empowerment coach, etc., etc.   and yet—-

When someone *does* give a Masterclass, do they give, provide or say what books *they* have read, or what teachers they have learned from? Usually not. Chances are if they typed their Masterclass out and you read it, ir would simply come across as their opinions/advice, with no other sources but themselves.   But they “know”, and you don’t.   How convenient.  How many books has your Life Coach read?  How many years experience does your Life Coach or Master Class Teacher have on the topic they are “educating” you about? What experts have they DIS-agreed with?  How?  About what?  and how can they show you that their advice or instruction is superior to….whoever else’s?

What about me, and writing this Blog-post? The difference is: I am not posing that I’m giving anyone special secrets or deep, inside “power-knowledge” or even saying that my info/opinions are any deep “MasterClass”.  Although if you find anything I say insightful, that would be rewarding.  But—

Geeeez, you’d think some of todays “advisor’s” were gonna show you the Ultimate-technique to blissful Cosmic-consciousness in the very next half-hour!!   Tooooo much HYPE—-(and sadly, too many suckers who “bite” on it without ever challenging or questioning the person who supposedly “knows”.  Why not “empower” ourselves by doing more of our own reading and daring to question the so-called “experts”?).   Or by having more experience in a given area. Why not empower yourself by reaching some of your own conclusions, from your own investigations, and having some confidence in them?  But most people do what’s “easiest”. Sadly, too often, that means they sacrifice their own curiosity to any so-called advisor or guide—-who has tons of advice but very little actual knowledge, or insights.  Pfffftt!  So much for being “strong, confident and independent” in today’s world, eh?

#Adulting, #Law Enforcement, #Life, Arguments, Police, Psychology

Comedy or Stupidity?

Meet Travis Heinze.

He creates alot of his own trouble. Law enforcement was just doing his job, and sounded quite reasonable about it.  But no, Heinze has to be sassy, contrary and dig himself in deeper. See also his other “Cop stop” videos on Youtube.   He is lucky this encounter didnt go any worse for him.

#Adulting, #Advice, #Counseling, #Happiness, #SelfHelp, Personality-Types, Psychology

Examining Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. We want to worry less and to feel more joyful.  Let’s take a deeper look at that.  Some people are “a bundle of “nerves” ” where even small things trigger them into too much tension, anger, anxiety or some unpleasant emotion.   This is likely a body-chemistry thing with them—-drugs? too much caffeine, or some actual vitamin/mineral or hormone imbalance, keeping them  “off-center” and interfering with one’s well-being.

What if we could balance or restore our inner chemistry to 40% more inner Peace and 60% more enthusiastic Joy and zest?  Think more about this. If someone can feel “all wound up” where too-many-things-that-shouldn’t bothers them, then why can’t there be an inner-chemistry where we could far better be “less-rattled” by whatever comes up, (but not become uncaring or inactive or unresponsive) and also have more zest and smiling Joy (while still being rational).  Why not?  If an imbalance can mess us up, why cant a better (but Natural) internal mix make us more calm but also more energetically happy?

But– when I go to the Bookstore and scan through some paperbacks on Happiness,  no one talks about this. Instead, today its all about:

  1. Just have friends
  2.  and a job you like
  3.  exercise
  4.  manage your finances

A person could do/have all of those things, and still have a bad “internal body chemistry” and be agitated, easily angered, depressed, overly anxious anyway!!   Many people are.

While practicing “mindfulness” can be a healthy first step, too few people are doing it and it doesn’t seem to be enough of a help.  We need a better and healthier and natural better body chemistry where we can be less agitated (but not inactive) and yet have energy and feel like smiling more easily (while still being rational and coherent).  I’m not a doctor but that’s my opinion. Who couldn’t use more peace, and more Joy, more often?

#Counseling, #HSP, #Narcissist, #Relationships, Communication, Personality-Types, Psychology

HSP or Highly Sensitive Person is the new Manipulation fad.

Meet the latest false Fad. If the Narcissist tries to get their way by verbal bullying. criticism, manipulation, then the so-called “Highly Sensitive Person” (or HSP)  tries to get their way by taking introversion, passive-aggressiveness, and your compassion to the other extreme!

How do these people function in the workplace? I have visions of them abusing “work-life balance”, NOT being in the Top 15% most productive at work, being “overwhelmed” far too often and wanting to isolate themselves in a cubicle. If you try to get them to improve in any way, they will likely “get sick”. But you have to be extra super-nice to them, poor little things, because after all, their just so “sensitive”. With some of them, it can even be a sort of game where they may think they are better than you because they “feel more”, or are more spiritually developed because they are “empathic” or “intuitive” (its all the rage these days). But its the opposite of Narcissism. Its getting their way by playing on your Heartstrings and showing you “care”. But it goes much too far. As DR. Phil might say: “WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS?” and so—-
Dear HSP, Introvert and “Sensitive”,
We all deserve to be Happy.
Personal-growth, happy experiences and emotional health, matter.
Therefore, I’m going to make 2020 a better year. By doing healthy and practical self-care.
By not wasting any more time being endlessly patient, or to continue tolerating others who practically “glorify sickness”, or broken-ness, or Autism, or Depression or introversion, or “sensitivity”.

I WAS THERE, when you were hurting.
I WAS THERE when you needed Understanding!
I WAS THERE when you needed someone to listen. And I did—for far too long.
And you never got better.

After all this time, you’re as miserable and struggling as ever and it has now become a matter of my own self-preservation!
I can’t take anymore. Life is passing *me* by, and I was still patient with you! But you’ve exhausted me.
Since Love is a mutual thing, even among friends, I’m leaving. To make my own better times. While I still can. Before I’m too old.

I owe this to myself. We all do. Without guilt. They say: “Life is too short” and dealing with all of this is the proof! But no more.
My personal happiness has been denied too long and “caring” has sucked me dry. It isn’t Healthy! Where is my Joy? We all deserve it. Sometimes I feel like you are hiding behind “being sensitive” as an excuse to have folks be extra-nice to you as you make practically zero efforts to improve anything. What *are* you doing, right now, to get any better at all, and not so “sensitive”?
So, I hope you find a good therapist. And good medication from a Doctor if you need it.

I’m done with waiting for better times, someday.
I can’t wait another year for you to get better.
I *had* patience, lots of it, already. But you have to *want* to get better! Do you?
What steps are you taking right now to become happier? To have less stress? To smile and laugh more. To be more confident. To be less rattled.
I can’t fix you. And a healthy person wouldn’t want me trying to “fix” them.
Broken people don’t make healthy couples! So, work on yourself.
The Sun is out. The air is fresh. And there’s a world of Happy, yes happy, experiences and people out there. It’s high-time I enjoyed them! Starting now. So I’m moving on and doing that! This is nothing for me to apologize for or feel guilty about.
I do not mean any harm. I wish you well. I hope you find happiness, but it can no longer be with me. I was there for you, for too long. Hiding behind “being sensitive” is no excuse for your continued lack of action. Go get some professional help.

#30-Somethings, #Advice, #Beliefs, #Happiness, #SelfHelp, Books, Communication, Psychology, Reading

Living Better & Too Much Advice

There is no shortage of advice these days. On how to be:

A Success….or Happier……or more Productive……or Fulfilled….and on and on.

But it’s time ask yourself:  What do *you* think is “the Answer”—and why that? Ya know, its kinda weird. For all the tons of books and advice out there, almost no one tells you to “trust your own judgement”.  Everyone wants you to follow *them* (while they make more money). People are too dependent and reliant on what others tell them is the answer—to “get ahead”…to “find Bliss”…or whatever.

I was just recently in a Barnes and Noble Bookstore and there are lots of books on “Mindfulness”. It’s all the rage these days. And meditation. In the bookstores, On Youtube.  But—the answer, keeps changing with time. As if they are fads that come and go.

Over the last 40 years, advice has been all over the map. But what do *you* think is best?  Is it all about:

“letting go”…..or “taking responsibility”……or “getting in touch with your inner child”….or cutting out “toxic people”……or “getting more confidence”…..or “finding your passion”……or starting your own business…..or “forgiving yourself”…..or “being assertive”…..or labeling half the people in your life as “narcissists” and then ghosting them?…..or buying excersize equipment?….or being more “grounded” (How? what does that even mean?)….or “balancing your Chakras?”…..or “being more mindful” ?

Next year, when the bookstores have another new batch of advice-books, will you jump on the Bandwagon or whatever the next fad is? Even the “experts” keep changing. So!  After all the books, and TedTalks, and Youtube videos, and therapists—-What do *you* think is best? and Why?
….