Women that I wouldn’t Date

Some people are just too darn Incompatible. Or weird. Or a pain in the ass, Or boring as hell. I wouldn’t date them. People such as:

  1. Liberal Activists -(if whatever, is such a good idea, then YOU pay for it, instead of taxing and taking MY money).
  2. Social Justice Warriors-(it’s NEVER enough with those people. They already have just as much “rights” as white people, probably even more, due to affirmative-action and/or protected group status. But they always want more, MORE…….a lost cause. Quit bitching).
  3. Vegans, Vegetarians, Gluten-free Crusaders. These folks always LOSE at arm-wrestling, half of ’em look unhealthy anyway, or somewhat disheveled. So go enjoy yer bowl of Flaxseed and stay 20 miles away from me.
  4. Lavender-haired, nose-pierced or tattooed anybody. They are pathetic attention-starved weirdos trying to see how bad-ass OR outrageous they can be, to get attention. LOSERS.
  5. Politically-correct “politeness Nazi’s”. This doesn’t mean I’m going to see how crude I can be. I am simply not going to WORRY about it. I will speak my mind. You should, too. And this leads to—
  6. People who say crap and don’t back it up at all. Imagine being married to your Honey, and disagreeing with him/her on whatever, and then when you ask what makes them think that way, they say: Oh, i dont know. I just feel that way. Ahem! The question was WHY. So get in touch with yourself, you un-insightful moron.
  7. Disorganized people who always take 20 minutes to do anything that should only take 3 minutes.
  8. World-travelled “rich-bitches” who just got back from: Hawaii, Tuscany, Paris, etc. and who, even so, STILL whine about how they “deserve better”. Spoiled brats.
  9. Military brats (much as i DO respect the military) who always moved and never lived 5 or more years in any one place. Good chance they never really developed any friendships that were all that deep or lasting.
  10. Anyone who majored in “Women’s studies” (translation: feminist men-haters) or “Environmental studies” (Get outta my face. Go COMPOST something, ya butthead.)

I know what some of you are thinking: that I won’t be dating much of anybody. #1. You are simply–wrong. #2. I’m not even the LEAST bit worried about that.

Which leads to a general question: Do we EVER call anyone else a LOSER anymore? Do you? DID you ever? If you used to, why not now? Are you gonna take some politically/correct or “looking-good” answer and say: well, i was immature then but I’ve grown up now? Ha! How slick, and too convenient. GREAT! Then YOU can go out with all the LOSERS that I’m avoiding. And I’ll be Happier. Touche’!

Games Narcissists Play

Don’t let a Narcissist stop you from believing in yourself!  Your opinion DOES count! Your goals and dreams count. You have a right to them. You have a right to succeed–and to FEEL HAPPY about it. Despite their discouragement, or criticisms, or jealousy of you.

Narcissists are too controlling, domineering, they lack empathy, its all about them, and you get pushed into the background, ignored, put down and invalidated. Its an Awful way to live.  Get a job. Have your own car, your own phone. SEE your friends–without the Narcissist always being with you. Have your own laptop or tablet.  BELIEVE in yourself.

Here is a very informative video from Dr. Les Carter.  He clearly explains bad things a Narcissist will do to you, or tactics they will use against you. But there is Hope. Now, you know. You are aware. You have the knowledge. Use it, even silently, to survive and gain strength, and freedom from the Narcissist.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwgWCH1iyUk      –theOwl30    PS– i post music/songs, and opinions on Psychology, Spirituality, Books, Old TV shows and more at:  http://www.thewordpressowl.wordpress.com

1st Dates gone wrong

Ahhh, looking back on it all . . . (shakes head).  Some first-dates that went wrong:

#1.  Her: You could come over after we leave here…

Me:  You *are* single, aren’t you?

Her: Well….kind of. He’s not living with me.

Me: But legally, you’re still married, right?

Her: well, yeah….

Me: But I already said, right in the very beginning before we met, that I was looking for someone legally single or who’s divorce was Finalized.

(It all went downhill from there. I didn’t come over. No 2nd date).

#2. This date, we met for a drink downtown.  Actually, I felt the conversation was going quite well, and she was attractive, and then, completely out of nowhere and not related to anything we had been talking about, she asks me:  “SO! Do you Recycle?”  (I’m serious, she really asked that—WTF??)

Me: Umm, No, I don’t. I just dump it all in one big garbage can.

and then her bottom lip actually started to quiver a bit,  as she looked me right in the eyes with this worried look –and she said:  But  (quiver)…what…what about the LAND-fill?!?

(Ohhhh, brother!  Yeah, it went rapidly downhill from there. I was this loser-inconsiderate-Bum (or whatever she felt about me) because I didn’t care about the Planet, etc.   Sigh.

#3.  Her hair was shampooed. Slender figure, Skirt-n-blouse outfit looked nice. She probably just got off work. We sat down at our table. It wasn’t 3 minutes into it and she asks: SO! Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?

Me: (oh, God! Am i going out with the manager of Personnel?).  Probably still living in this city and  enjoying Life right here.   (I could tell that that wasn’t Aggressive or Goal-oriented enough, even though I was working full-time and paying my bills on time and had my own car and place away from my parents).  Maybe i should have said I would become the National CEO of Bank of America and then buy the 3 largest Castles in all of Italy. . .

4. This woman also invited me to her place. And she was single. I get there and she has me sit in her kitchen and offers me Herb Tea.  She sits in another chair, also in the kitchen, but her chair is right in front of –an artist’s EASEL …and I get to sit and watch her do “toll-painting”.  But hey, its only the first date, right?  But there’s hardly any conversation, either. She’s sooo focused on each of her little painting-details, right in front of me. No, she isn’t painting me, either. I try to make conversation but she hardly says a word and gives very short, almost “robot” answers.  One time, it was a sunny day and we were sitting in grass and she picked up a flower and sorta teasingly said: He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves not. He loves me. Then she smiled.  But nothing happened. Every time I came over, once again, she kept doing more painting, every time! We never even kissed. Finally, I once asked: Do you want to go out with me or do you wanna keep doing painting? and she says she has to get it done. And yet, she kept having me over. I gave up. Too boring.  and I had waited. Forget sex, we weren’t doing ANYTHING together! No movies, No road trips, no sports, no games. We didn’t go to the Mall. Toooo boring. I moved on.

#5. We met for a Pizza. She arrives. She’s too fat. By quite alot.  I’m not perfect, but seriously, I DO know that I can do better. But I’ll be nice and make the most of it. The Pizza comes, its good, and at least the conversation wasn’t awkward.  Until—-

She asks:  (looking straight at me!) SO! Have you ever “done it” in a Bath-tub full of Lime Jello?  (Yes, she really asked that).

Me: (pause)….welll, no. Can’t say that I’ve tried that one…..

Later, I thanked her but never called back.  That was years ago.

And to think, for all of these dates, we DID meet in a public place, first.  Those were all years ago. But i still remember.  (smiles to self) Life goes on . . . .

 

Self-Help Book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” by John A. Schindler M.D.

LIfe has its stresses and hassles.  Sometimes we may feel too worried, or depressed, or angry, or too rushed, or irritated by aggravations.

It would nice, if more of the time, we could feel both: 1. Calm and 2. Happy

John A. Schindler M.D. and his book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” can be a big help with that.  The book was written years ago but is still very relevant and accurate, today.

No, it’s not another book on “Mindfulness” or “positive thinking” or visualization. More down to earth and physical and some solid everyday advice.

It talks about how we can be “calm, and happy. –Right now.” You will also get a mini-education about: Glands and hormones.  No worries, he keeps it simple and not too technical, but you will likely find it eye-opening.

What is STH? What is ACTH? What can be the long-term effect of too much of these? Who was Dr. Hans Seyle?  The book mentions that “Good Emotions are your best medicine!”  Several times, you will be presented with a real-life situation, and see how 2 different people handled it, one in a healthy way, the other one not so much. You can see the difference.  This is realistic advice you can put into practice. You will also learn more about your body chemistry and how it affects you.

Who doesn’t want to feel more “Calm. and Happy. –Right now”?   Amazon.com should have this book. Barnes & Noble should be able to order it. Get it. Read it. It is definitely “time well-spent”.   🙂   You’ll feel better.   PS—I post about a variety of topics. Scroll down and see my last 12 posts, or explore my monthly archives. Thanks for stopping by.    –the Owl

CARMEN CABOOM & Messy MF’s

Gotta Luv Carmen Caboom! She’s Funny and speaks her mind. I wish she’d go back to doing more Youtube videos that are 20 minutes or Less, like she used to, but she’s still fun to listen to.

Warning: video contains Adult language.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l84mYwBnuWE

Malt-shop Oldies! “I Wish That We Were Married” by The Gems.

Ahhh, sweet Romance!  And Doo-Wop music.

Here is “I Wish We Were Married” by The Gems.  Good melody & vocals.  PS—I post on a variety of topics. Check out my last 15 posts.  Enjoy!     🙂

 

HSP or Highly Sensitive Person is the new Manipulation fad.

Meet the latest false Fad. If the Narcissist tries to get their way by verbal bullying. criticism, manipulation, then the so-called “Highly Sensitive Person” (or HSP)  tries to get their way by taking introversion, passive-aggressiveness, and your compassion to the other extreme!

How do these people function in the workplace? I have visions of them abusing “work-life balance”, NOT being in the Top 15% most productive at work, being “overwhelmed” far too often and wanting to isolate themselves in a cubicle. If you try to get them to improve in any way, they will likely “get sick”. But you have to be extra super-nice to them, poor little things, because after all, their just so “sensitive”. With some of them, it can even be a sort of game where they may think they are better than you because they “feel more”, or are more spiritually developed because they are “empathic” or “intuitive” (its all the rage these days). But its the opposite of Narcissism. Its getting their way by playing on your Heartstrings and showing you “care”. But it goes much too far. As DR. Phil might say: “WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS?” and so—-
Dear HSP, Introvert and “Sensitive”,
We all deserve to be Happy.
Personal-growth, happy experiences and emotional health, matter.
Therefore, I’m going to make 2020 a better year. By doing healthy and practical self-care.
By not wasting any more time being endlessly patient, or to continue tolerating others who practically “glorify sickness”, or broken-ness, or Autism, or Depression or introversion, or “sensitivity”.

I WAS THERE, when you were hurting.
I WAS THERE when you needed Understanding!
I WAS THERE when you needed someone to listen. And I did—for far too long.
And you never got better.

After all this time, you’re as miserable and struggling as ever and it has now become a matter of my own self-preservation!
I can’t take anymore. Life is passing *me* by, and I was still patient with you! But you’ve exhausted me.
Since Love is a mutual thing, even among friends, I’m leaving. To make my own better times. While I still can. Before I’m too old.

I owe this to myself. We all do. Without guilt. They say: “Life is too short” and dealing with all of this is the proof! But no more.
My personal happiness has been denied too long and “caring” has sucked me dry. It isn’t Healthy! Where is my Joy? We all deserve it. Sometimes I feel like you are hiding behind “being sensitive” as an excuse to have folks be extra-nice to you as you make practically zero efforts to improve anything. What *are* you doing, right now, to get any better at all, and not so “sensitive”?
So, I hope you find a good therapist. And good medication from a Doctor if you need it.

I’m done with waiting for better times, someday.
I can’t wait another year for you to get better.
I *had* patience, lots of it, already. But you have to *want* to get better! Do you?
What steps are you taking right now to become happier? To have less stress? To smile and laugh more. To be more confident. To be less rattled.
I can’t fix you. And a healthy person wouldn’t want me trying to “fix” them.
Broken people don’t make healthy couples! So, work on yourself.
The Sun is out. The air is fresh. And there’s a world of Happy, yes happy, experiences and people out there. It’s high-time I enjoyed them! Starting now. So I’m moving on and doing that! This is nothing for me to apologize for or feel guilty about.
I do not mean any harm. I wish you well. I hope you find happiness, but it can no longer be with me. I was there for you, for too long. Hiding behind “being sensitive” is no excuse for your continued lack of action. Go get some professional help.

Dr. Les Carter, on Narcissism

Meet Dr. Les Carter.   Good information on recognizing and dealing with a Narcissist.

 

How to get even with a Narcissist by Stephanie Lyn

Narcissism stinks. And you don’t have to just sit there and take it.

It’s time you got even.  Meet Stephanie Lyn, a Life Coach. This is a good video. She is believable and helpful.

Busy is Bad.

“How’s it goin’?”   …and people will say: “Busy”.

“Hey! We’re all gettin’ together next thursday night, should be fun, wanna join us?” ……and you might hear: “Let me check my Calendar”

It seems like people just cant be happy unless they are “Busy”.  Too bad for *them!* Because much, much too often, their busy-ness means they are too busy for FUN.  And they miss out.  Over-committed. To things they don’t enjoy.  Yes, *do* be responsible, but I’ll bet 80% of the things you have written on your calendar, the reminders, are NOT for things that are fun. Or enjoyable. But nonetheless, you volunteered or said you’d  do them.  So there you are. Booked up. Over-committed and too busy, for EnJOYment. Where’s the JOY?

I suspect alot of them don’t care. Who knows, maybe they are more into “seeming important” by having all these things going on. So maybe their idea of “success” is more important to them than FUN. Or Enjoyment! They will tell themselves they are “being responsibile”.  We all should be, but thats the default setting. We want to Elevate above that, and be (dare i say it?)  Happy!   🙂

In some cases it may be even worse than that. Maybe they aren’t really busy but lie and say they are. Why would they do that? Perhaps they feel a life that isnt busy is “unproductive” or boring and so they are nearly paranoid about LOOKING like a real go-getter and it sounds more politically correct to be “Busy”.  Some people may even think of feeling happy as a “luxury” and resign themselves to drudgery. But thats just trying to paint a politically-correct face, on depression.  What makes you SMILE? Come Alive! Gives you Zest and enthusiasm?  Good emotions, are good for you! Remember that.

Being “Busy” is a fad.  But they can have it.  I dont want it. With no regrets whatsoever. I want to live a life, a happy life, without even owning any Day Planner at all.  With as *little*  crammed onto my Calendar as possible, so that—-I will have MAXIMUM unscheduled-free-time!!– to be AVAILABLE and OPEN to any FUN when it comes along.   To bad for the rest of you “Busy” suckers.

“How’s it goin’, Owl?”

Me: “FANTASTIC!  I have the JOY of FREE time to do whatever I want at a moments notice, or not, however I choose.  I am NOT “in a hurry” and NOT having any ulcers worrying about all these places i hafta be because I’m scheduled so “tight”, like so many other poor suckers. And I don’t have to worry about meetings or traffic or being late. How YOU doin’?”  haha

Them: well, busy.

Me: Maybe you just suck at Time Management.

Let that sink in.  And then sink in some more. And then ask yourself:

  1. When was the last time I drove to the Beach, sat on a driftwood log eating a sandwich and listening to the powerful ocean waves and the seagulls and feeling the misty air?

2. When was the last time I “cleared my schedule” and  spent from 10am til 10pm with my sweetie?

3. When was the last time I had the house to myself, NO CALLS, and sat in my favorite recliner with some soft background music while i spent all day reading a book that I bought?

4. When was the last time i took myself out to lunch, spent all afternoon leisurely walking around the Mall, then having another bite to eat for dinner and then going to see a movie in a big-screen Theatre?

5. When was the last time I filled up the gas tank in the car and got on the freeway and took a scenic drive, 3 hours one way, just to unwind, get out of town and have a refreshing change of scenery?

Them: welllll, I’d like to  but, I’m, um, busy.

Me: That’s right. you are.  And who’s fault is that? And you’re so “busy” that you don’t have Time:   for FUN, for DATES, for day-trips, for unwinding & quiet time….and Life is passing you by!

Bad Dates & Bad TV

There are many things that I don’t want to talk about on a 1st date. Or maybe any other time, too. And some things I’m totally sick of seeing on TV, sad and legitimate though they may be. Some are super-boring and some, while there may be a genuine need for help, are just “shoved-in-your-face” over and over and over and over on TV until you are worn out and now disgusted to see them at all.

Can I watch just ONE solid 7 day week of TV and NOT see any commercials whatsoever about:

  1. Bladder leakage products
  2.  Cancer-kids
  3.  Wounded warriors
  4.  Animal cruelty
  5.  starving people in foreign countries

The need may be real, but the relentless overkill frequency of the commercials gives one “compassion fatigue” and becomes a real turn-off.   That said, some topics are super-boring when you meet a new person, or even afterwards. For me, I really bored silly over anyone wanting to talk about:

  1.  “giving back” to the “community” or “making a difference”. Bleeaaaughh.  GO AWAY. Now!
  2.  Anything Vegan, gluten-free, or how anyone is allegic to this and that and that and wants 4 accommodations whenever they go to any restaurant and interrogate the servers.
  3.  Liberals, social “justice” warriors.
  4.  the middle east
  5.  Climate change and/or the Environment
  6.  “Lightworkers”, quantum theory anything, Ekhart Tolle, Deepok Chopra or Oprah.
  7.  People who love to keep deciding that this or that isn’t really “Appropriate”.
  8. . people who are late, lax, unreliable and then say everything is “no big deal”.

What can I say? Good help is hard to find. But worth looking for.

How People Feel: taking another look

I am surprised that I haven’t seen or read of someone else already mentioning this, so I thought I’d share.

Chances are, you’ve already heard it said, many times, that: “people may not remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.”

Chances are, most of us reading that would easily agree with it and feel its true. And so, we leave it at that. We believe its true, we agree, and we pretty-much stop thinking about it and leave it right there.  I’ve don’t that myself, too.

And that is sort of the problem. We’ve stopped thinking any further.

I am being more watchful of the people who say that. Are they practicing what they preach? Are they setting an example? (They want everyone else to). Are they “walking-the-walk?” Or are they hypocrites?

And then you get the people who are uncaringly hurtful verbally and repeatedly and they try to justify it by quickly saying: “I’m just being honest. I call a spade, a spade.” (As if nobody else does). Do either of these people really care how *they* make others feel? But they want you to care. And be aware. And be watchful of yourself.

We can see similar things going on in other areas of life, too, like: :

It’s all-the-rage these days. Seemingly everybody-and-their-dog loves to rave on about:

  1. “giving back” and–
  2.  “making a difference” but—-8 times out of 10, they’re really  more concerned about getting recognition and praise for “making a difference” (would they have still done whatever if they couldn’t tell anyone they did it? I wonder. I really do) and——- for all the politically correct talk about giving-back-to-the-community, these same people never seem to be able to tell you exactly, specifically, WHAT did the “the community” ever do for them in the first place that they would feel the need to “give back?”  You will likely see a big Blank here, as apparently not 1 person in 50 will verbalize or specify anything definite.

Kindness to others is a good and positive thing, but It would appear that the problem is that too often when things are True, its easy for us to say: yeah, that’s true, I believe it…….and then not do it, or practice it.  Even the Golden Rule. And at other times, to do good, but to be unable or unwilling to tell others why we do it. Like “making a difference”. Suppose you were stranded on a sunny island with lots of abundant fruit growing and a fresh water stream and no wild animals, but no other people on the island. Now you cant do anything for others. How will you “make a difference?” There’s no one else there, to do anything for. What will you do? Would life automatically be meaningless? Could you still find a way to be Happy?