“Making a Difference”

It’s All-the-Rage these days. “Making a Difference”. And—“giving back to the Community”.    But…..why?   Seriously. Why?

Exactly WHAT??–has “the Community”  TANGIBLY done, for you personally?  Did the “Community” buy you a Car?  Or pay for a years-worth of your College classes?  Or pay your Rent? or get you a Promotion? Did they pay your big medical bills?  No? Then why on earth do you feel any need to “give back” in the first place?

No one answers this.  They believe in “Service”, but they can’t (or won’t) tell you Why.

Most of the time they tell themselves they “made a difference” by volunteering, but 5 out of 6 times, what really happens is, they make sure that the next day, they are sure to wear the ribbon, badge or pin that they got for Volunteering, to work with them the next day. So YOU will be curious and ask them about it. They simply want the recognition and to feed their ego.  WOULD THEY have volunteered or “been of Service” IF they couldn’t tell anyone at all that they did it?  I truly wonder.

Think about this!  You, and your sweetie are stranded on some Island.  The weather is warm. There are Coconuts, Guavas, Papayas, Grapes, Oranges, Pineapples and Berries growing everywhere. There is even a fresh-water lake with Trout fish in it. But no snakes or wild animals.  The only problem is, there is only the two of you. There are no other people on this Island. S0…..you have NO ONE, to “be of service” to. NO ONE, to “give back” to.  No “Community” to “make a difference” in.   No community to “recognize your contribution”.  Just you & your sweetie. No one else to “serve”. Would Life be futile and meaningless? Would you kill yourself?  Could you still be happy on this Island?

Self-Help Book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” by John A. Schindler M.D.

LIfe has its stresses and hassles.  Sometimes we may feel too worried, or depressed, or angry, or too rushed, or irritated by aggravations.

It would nice, if more of the time, we could feel both: 1. Calm and 2. Happy

John A. Schindler M.D. and his book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” can be a big help with that.  The book was written years ago but is still very relevant and accurate, today.

No, it’s not another book on “Mindfulness” or “positive thinking” or visualization. More down to earth and physical and some solid everyday advice.

It talks about how we can be “calm, and happy. –Right now.” You will also get a mini-education about: Glands and hormones.  No worries, he keeps it simple and not too technical, but you will likely find it eye-opening.

What is STH? What is ACTH? What can be the long-term effect of too much of these? Who was Dr. Hans Seyle?  The book mentions that “Good Emotions are your best medicine!”  Several times, you will be presented with a real-life situation, and see how 2 different people handled it, one in a healthy way, the other one not so much. You can see the difference.  This is realistic advice you can put into practice. You will also learn more about your body chemistry and how it affects you.

Who doesn’t want to feel more “Calm. and Happy. –Right now”?   Amazon.com should have this book. Barnes & Noble should be able to order it. Get it. Read it. It is definitely “time well-spent”.   🙂   You’ll feel better.   PS—I post about a variety of topics. Scroll down and see my last 12 posts, or explore my monthly archives. Thanks for stopping by.    –the Owl

“MasterClass”–yet another politically-correct Fad

Lately, I am seeing more and more people on Youtube and online, suddenly offering to do a “Master Class” on this or that topic.  Ppfffffftt!  We already have “Webinars”, now that’s not enough and people feel the need to offer a “MasterClass”.  But why? Or—-let me put this another way:

Go ahead and give, or share, the information with your audience, but—-why *call* it a MasterClass at all?  To me, this is just one more way for anyone to  feed their own Ego, that they “know” and—-you don’t. But hey! Out of the kindness of their Heart (cough, cough) they’re going to let you in, onto “the Secret Knowledge”, so that at last, YOU can feel: “Empowered”, “Enlightened” and maybe even  (gasp!) “transformed” (another politically-correct buzzword), so that you can feel new heights of Peak performance, awakened Intuition and success-consciousness, using the latest “ground-breaking, forward-thinking, cutting edge modalities” to be a “power-success” in today’s overloaded rush-hour world.  My, my! How Exciting!

In all seriousness, why not just make another Blog-post and Title it “How To……”and then type or write how to do—whatever.  How to overcome.  How to Deal with….or the Answer to….or Effective Tips to deal with—-whatever.

Most of the people offering a so-called “Master Class” are not PH.D’s, or scholars or someone with 30yrs. experience sharing their wealth of experience. Nope. Most of the time, its either one of the thousands and thousands of today’s “Life Coaches” (One of THE most presumptious things to ever be created! Who was, the very first “Life Coach” in the last 50 yrs. anyway?)  or “Intuitive’s” (its all the Rage! “Everybody” wants to be an “intuitive” but too often they cant prove the worth of their advice. They either “just feel it” or got it from a “spirit guide” or are offering tons of advice when they themselves have much too little experience.”  Too often, they are practically “Cheerleaders” trying to be Psychologist-wannabe’s!

But Hey! They are going to go even beyond a “deep dive” and Bless you with an all-out “MasterClass”!   Bah! This is pure “posing” and trying to feed their own ego or sense of self-importance.  Why?  Because, just take a look around….these days “everybody and his/her dog” wants to be:   a trainer, instructor, Intuitive, guide, teacher, empowerment coach, etc., etc.   and yet—-

When someone *does* give a Masterclass, do they give, provide or say what books *they* have read, or what teachers they have learned from? Usually not. Chances are if they typed their Masterclass out and you read it, ir would simply come across as their opinions/advice, with no other sources but themselves.   But they “know”, and you don’t.   How convenient.  How many books has your Life Coach read?  How many years experience does your Life Coach or Master Class Teacher have on the topic they are “educating” you about? What experts have they DIS-agreed with?  How?  About what?  and how can they show you that their advice or instruction is superior to….whoever else’s?

What about me, and writing this Blog-post? The difference is: I am not posing that I’m giving anyone special secrets or deep, inside “power-knowledge” or even saying that my info/opinions are any deep “MasterClass”.  Although if you find anything I say insightful, that would be rewarding.  But—

Geeeez, you’d think some of todays “advisor’s” were gonna show you the Ultimate-technique to blissful Cosmic-consciousness in the very next half-hour!!   Tooooo much HYPE—-(and sadly, too many suckers who “bite” on it without ever challenging or questioning the person who supposedly “knows”.  Why not “empower” ourselves by doing more of our own reading and daring to question the so-called “experts”?).   Or by having more experience in a given area. Why not empower yourself by reaching some of your own conclusions, from your own investigations, and having some confidence in them?  But most people do what’s “easiest”. Sadly, too often, that means they sacrifice their own curiosity to any so-called advisor or guide—-who has tons of advice but very little actual knowledge, or insights.  Pfffftt!  So much for being “strong, confident and independent” in today’s world, eh?

Examining Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. We want to worry less and to feel more joyful.  Let’s take a deeper look at that.  Some people are “a bundle of “nerves” ” where even small things trigger them into too much tension, anger, anxiety or some unpleasant emotion.   This is likely a body-chemistry thing with them—-drugs? too much caffeine, or some actual vitamin/mineral or hormone imbalance, keeping them  “off-center” and interfering with one’s well-being.

What if we could balance or restore our inner chemistry to 40% more inner Peace and 60% more enthusiastic Joy and zest?  Think more about this. If someone can feel “all wound up” where too-many-things-that-shouldn’t bothers them, then why can’t there be an inner-chemistry where we could far better be “less-rattled” by whatever comes up, (but not become uncaring or inactive or unresponsive) and also have more zest and smiling Joy (while still being rational).  Why not?  If an imbalance can mess us up, why cant a better (but Natural) internal mix make us more calm but also more energetically happy?

But—when I go to the Bookstore and scan through some paperbacks on Happiness,  no one talks about this. Instead, today its all about:

  1. Just have friends
  2.  and a job you like
  3.  exercise
  4.  manage your finances

Those are good things, but what no one is talking about is:

A person could do/have all of those things, and still have a bad “internal body chemistry” and be agitated, easily angered, depressed, overly anxious anyway!!   Many people are.

While practicing “mindfulness” can be a healthy first step, too few people are doing it and it doesn’t seem to be enough of a help.  We need a better and healthier and natural better body chemistry where we can be less agitated (but not inactive) and yet have energy and feel like smiling more easily (while still being rational and coherent).  I’m not a doctor but thats my opinion. Who couldnt use more peace, and more Joy, more often?

 

Dr. Les Carter, on Narcissism

Meet Dr. Les Carter.   Good information on recognizing and dealing with a Narcissist.

 

Living Better & Too Much Advice

There is no shortage of advice these days. On how to be:

A Success….or Happier……or more Productive……or Fulfilled….and on and on.

But it’s time ask yourself:  What do *you* think is “the Answer”—and why that? Ya know, its kinda weird. For all the tons of books and advice out there, almost no one tells you to “trust your own judgement”.  Everyone wants you to follow *them* (while they make more money). People are too dependent and reliant on what others tell them is the answer—to “get ahead”…to “find Bliss”…or whatever.

I was just recently in a Barnes and Noble Bookstore and there are lots of books on “Mindfulness”. It’s all the rage these days. And meditation. In the bookstores, On Youtube.  But—the answer, keeps changing with time. As if they are fads that come and go.

Over the last 40 years, advice has been all over the map. But what do *you* think is best?  Is it all about:

“letting go”…..or “taking responsibility”……or “getting in touch with your inner child”….or cutting out “toxic people”……or “getting more confidence”…..or “finding your passion”……or starting your own business…..or “forgiving yourself”…..or “being assertive”…..or labeling half the people in your life as “narcissists” and then ghosting them?…..or buying excersize equipment?….or being more “grounded” (How? what does that even mean?)….or “balancing your Chakras?”…..or “being more mindful” ?

Next year, when the bookstores have another new batch of advice-books, will you jump on the Bandwagon or whatever the next fad is? Even the “experts” keep changing. So!  After all the books, and TedTalks, and Youtube videos, and therapists—-What do *you* think is best? and Why?
….

 

 

 

Frank James and 16 Personalities at the Therapist

Frank James has some funny Youtube videos, like this one:

 

How to get even with a Narcissist by Stephanie Lyn

Narcissism stinks. And you don’t have to just sit there and take it.

It’s time you got even.  Meet Stephanie Lyn, a Life Coach. This is a good video. She is believable and helpful.

“My Opinion” – the Narcissist’s Revenge?

Maybe this has happened to you.  You have been dealing with a Narcissist. This person often minimizes what you say, or ignores it with no response at all, or ridicules it, or acts like they know better than you—and if you call them out or confront them on it, then they say that they are not criticizing, or  minimizing, but that they just disagree and you are wrong from:  “their Perspective”.   Its “their opinion” and they are entitled to their opinion, just like you are. Now what?

My response is:  they have a right to their opinion, but  nnoooooobody, disagrees  *that* much! There must be something else, or something more, going on.

They hide behind “Subjectivity gone wild”.   It’s all feelings. They aren’t reasoning with you as an adult.

 

 

 

Is anybody Healthy or together?

I enjoy reading about Psychology, personality disorders and happiness.

There is no shortage of advice out there, with tons of people who have become Life Coaches, Therapists, Counselors, Intuitives and on and on, all with their own “paths to wholeness”, advice, methods, etc.  And it gets me asking some things:

  1. Is *anybody*   “whole”, healthy and “together”??   Is everybody “broken”?  What does a Positive Emotional Health look like? and just what is the right advice to follow?

Is it all about…… “letting go”?  Is that the answer?  Or— “setting Boundaries”?   Or  “being mindful”?  Or communicating better at work?  And at home?  Or getting more Sleep? Or “trusting your Heart”? or better Time Management?  Or being more alert and sensitive to spiritual “energies”?  Is it about cutting people out of your Life who annoy you?

Is it all of those things? And—–after you have finally done them, what then?  Will you be happy?   Would you settle for “less miserable”?   What will you do to put more positive Pleasure into your individual Life?

Is it all about “giving back to the Community”?   Is it really?  Tell me—exactly what, tangibly, has “the community” -Already-  done for you, that you would feel some legitimate “Need” to “give back”?   Did the community pay off your student loan?  Buy your first house?  Your car?  Pay your medical bills?  No? So what exactly are you giving back”?  No one seems to know. Or they wont say.

Most of the so-called “giving back” is often just for –Recognition and one’s own image.

So! You went on a run and “Raced-for-the-Cure”? Because you “care”?   Do you really? Or do you “Care” about wearing the ribbon you got for participating, to work the next day so several people will ask you what it is and you can tell them all how you “cared” and were “giving back”?  Now you can feel better about yourself cuz you’ve one-upmanshipped them and can tell yourself you “cared more” than they did and how you “made a difference”.  Is that your idea of happiness?   And yet many people do this.

Would they have participated and gave back if they couldnt tell anyone about it?  I wonder. Imagine you are stranded on a warm island with no wild animals to attack you and plenty of fruit growing everywhere but—-no other people on the island.  You are alone. There is no “community” to “give back” to. and so—-is Happiness impossible?  What would you do to be “whole and Integrated and grounded and to feel positive”?  Ask yourself this! I believe its a good test.

….and on it goes, with advice, therapies, programs, techniques, revelations, etc…..and so i ask:  after we’ve all finally:

become more assertive, eaten more fiber and flaxseed, drink more water, had more massages, get more sleep, get promoted,  cleansed our bodies of toxins, seperated ourselves from Toxic people, practiced more Mindfulness, gotten more hugs, attended more seminars…….what then?    What is positive emotional and grounded health?  Is anybody Healthy?   –theOwl30       PS—scroll down and read another 8 or 10 of my posts. I write/post about a variety of topics. Comment on anything.   🙂

Psychology. Is Your Therapist Good or Bad? 12 Questions to help decide.

Psychology. Is your Therapist a good one or a bad one? Former  Psychotherapist Daniel Mackler asks 12 questions.  In any profession, or academic study, I enjoy it when those with inside knowledge are willing to offer a Critique. What do you think? Does he have any valid points?