Dr. Les Carter, on Narcissism

Meet Dr. Les Carter.   Good information on recognizing and dealing with a Narcissist.

 

Living Better & Too Much Advice

There is no shortage of advice these days. On how to be:

A Success….or Happier……or more Productive……or Fulfilled….and on and on.

But it’s time ask yourself:  What do *you* think is “the Answer”—and why that? Ya know, its kinda weird. For all the tons of books and advice out there, almost no one tells you to “trust your own judgement”.  Everyone wants you to follow *them* (while they make more money). People are too dependent and reliant on what others tell them is the answer—to “get ahead”…to “find Bliss”…or whatever.

I was just recently in a Barnes and Noble Bookstore and there are lots of books on “Mindfulness”. It’s all the rage these days. And meditation. In the bookstores, On Youtube.  But—the answer, keeps changing with time. As if they are fads that come and go.

Over the last 40 years, advice has been all over the map. But what do *you* think is best?  Is it all about:

“letting go”…..or “taking responsibility”……or “getting in touch with your inner child”….or cutting out “toxic people”……or “getting more confidence”…..or “finding your passion”……or starting your own business…..or “forgiving yourself”…..or “being assertive”…..or labeling half the people in your life as “narcissists” and then ghosting them?…..or buying excersize equipment?….or being more “grounded” (How? what does that even mean?)….or “balancing your Chakras?”…..or “being more mindful” ?

Next year, when the bookstores have another new batch of advice-books, will you jump on the Bandwagon or whatever the next fad is? Even the “experts” keep changing. So!  After all the books, and TedTalks, and Youtube videos, and therapists—-What do *you* think is best? and Why?
….

 

 

 

Frank James and 16 Personalities at the Therapist

Frank James has some funny Youtube videos, like this one:

 

How to get even with a Narcissist by Stephanie Lyn

Narcissism stinks. And you don’t have to just sit there and take it.

It’s time you got even.  Meet Stephanie Lyn, a Life Coach. This is a good video. She is believable and helpful.

Is anybody Healthy or together?

I enjoy reading about Psychology, personality disorders and happiness.

There is no shortage of advice out there, with tons of people who have become Life Coaches, Therapists, Counselors, Intuitives and on and on, all with their own “paths to wholeness”, advice, methods, etc.  And it gets me asking some things:

  1. Is *anybody*   “whole”, healthy and “together”??   Is everybody “broken”?  What does a Positive Emotional Health look like? and just what is the right advice to follow?

Is it all about…… “letting go”?  Is that the answer?  Or— “setting Boundaries”?   Or  “being mindful”?  Or communicating better at work?  And at home?  Or getting more Sleep? Or “trusting your Heart”? or better Time Management?  Or being more alert and sensitive to spiritual “energies”?  Is it about cutting people out of your Life who annoy you?

Is it all of those things? And—–after you have finally done them, what then?  Will you be happy?   Would you settle for “less miserable”?   What will you do to put more positive Pleasure into your individual Life?

Is it all about “giving back to the Community”?   Is it really?  Tell me—exactly what, tangibly, has “the community” -Already-  done for you, that you would feel some legitimate “Need” to “give back”?   Did the community pay off your student loan?  Buy your first house?  Your car?  Pay your medical bills?  No? So what exactly are you giving back”?  No one seems to know. Or they wont say.

Most of the so-called “giving back” is often just for –Recognition and one’s own image.

So! You went on a run and “Raced-for-the-Cure”? Because you “care”?   Do you really? Or do you “Care” about wearing the ribbon you got for participating, to work the next day so several people will ask you what it is and you can tell them all how you “cared” and were “giving back”?  Now you can feel better about yourself cuz you’ve one-upmanshipped them and can tell yourself you “cared more” than they did and how you “made a difference”.  Is that your idea of happiness?   And yet many people do this.

Would they have participated and gave back if they couldnt tell anyone about it?  I wonder. Imagine you are stranded on a warm island with no wild animals to attack you and plenty of fruit growing everywhere but—-no other people on the island.  You are alone. There is no “community” to “give back” to. and so—-is Happiness impossible?  What would you do to be “whole and Integrated and grounded and to feel positive”?  Ask yourself this! I believe its a good test.

….and on it goes, with advice, therapies, programs, techniques, revelations, etc…..and so i ask:  after we’ve all finally:

become more assertive, eaten more fiber and flaxseed, drink more water, had more massages, get more sleep, get promoted,  cleansed our bodies of toxins, seperated ourselves from Toxic people, practiced more Mindfulness, gotten more hugs, attended more seminars…….what then?    What is positive emotional and grounded health?  Is anybody Healthy?   –theOwl30       PS—scroll down and read another 8 or 10 of my posts. I write/post about a variety of topics. Comment on anything.   🙂

Psychology. Is Your Therapist Good or Bad? 12 Questions to help decide.

Psychology. Is your Therapist a good one or a bad one? Former  Psychotherapist Daniel Mackler asks 12 questions.  In any profession, or academic study, I enjoy it when those with inside knowledge are willing to offer a Critique. What do you think? Does he have any valid points?

 

Types of Mental Help Professionals

Feel like you need therapy? Someone professional to talk to?  Counseling? But not sure who does what?

Kati Morton explains the differences in different kinds of mental health professionals. The decision is yours. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfex5wnWZXI

Being “Human” & “Recovery”

This will not be a popular post. It isn’t “Politically correct”. But underneath any irritation you might feel, I suspect there is some embaressment.

I have grown tired of people who are always the ones to so quickly say:

  1. “It’s a process.” or–
  2. I’M “a work in progress”. Or–
  3. Well, making a mistake just shows you’re human.  or–
  4. I’m “working on it” but I’m “still in recovery.”

That’s the Problem!  More on that in just a bit but first–

Yes, it is good if you needed help and got yourself into recovery. Also, none of us is perfect and we will make mistakes and we are human.

The problem is:

  1. They never seem to “get Recovered!” They are always still recover-ING! and-
  2. (I said it wasn’t politically correct)–mark it down. The ones who are quickest to say: well, a mistake just shows you’re human….these are THE same people who will screw up –the most often–, as opposed to the ones who don’t make a point to say that. It may be True, and it is, but still, you can bet that the ones in the group who say it out loud will be the FIRST ones to re-screw-up, soonest, and most often. Because, after all—
  3. They are a work “in Progress”.

But that’s exactly my point. Nobody ever “arrives” or “gets there”.  Where is the person who “has Overcome!” ?  No, they are still overcom-ING. But they are never “there” yet. It’s always “in the process”.  Ughhh!

But isn’t Life a matter of continued learning?  Yes, it is, and hopefully you care about that. But I don’t feel that means we go on and on for years with the same problem and call it “a work in progress”. I’d rather learn, apply, work on it, and fix what’s wrong and “overcome”. Life will likely have new problems, anyway. To put it bluntly, always “working on it” but never finishing it…always recover-ING but never being recovered….repeatedly screwing up and casually chalking it up to “being human”, is simply much, much too often a lame excuse for NEVER GETTING BETTER.  And they don’t. Far, far too often. (So  much for “caring” about Self-improvement and personal growth.).

I can hear the criticism now: “well! I’m glad *you’re* perfect.” Reply: I’m not. But I make an effort to not keep repeating the -same- mistakes.  Reply#2:  6 months from now, I may still have problems, but at least they won’t still be the same ones!

Broken people don’t make Healthy couples!  Get well. Be whole. Get there.