Self-Help Book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” by John A. Schindler M.D.

LIfe has its stresses and hassles.  Sometimes we may feel too worried, or depressed, or angry, or too rushed, or irritated by aggravations.

It would nice, if more of the time, we could feel both: 1. Calm and 2. Happy

John A. Schindler M.D. and his book: “How to Live 365 Days a Year” can be a big help with that.  The book was written years ago but is still very relevant and accurate, today.

No, it’s not another book on “Mindfulness” or “positive thinking” or visualization. More down to earth and physical and some solid everyday advice.

It talks about how we can be “calm, and happy. –Right now.” You will also get a mini-education about: Glands and hormones.  No worries, he keeps it simple and not too technical, but you will likely find it eye-opening.

What is STH? What is ACTH? What can be the long-term effect of too much of these? Who was Dr. Hans Seyle?  The book mentions that “Good Emotions are your best medicine!”  Several times, you will be presented with a real-life situation, and see how 2 different people handled it, one in a healthy way, the other one not so much. You can see the difference.  This is realistic advice you can put into practice. You will also learn more about your body chemistry and how it affects you.

Who doesn’t want to feel more “Calm. and Happy. –Right now”?   Amazon.com should have this book. Barnes & Noble should be able to order it. Get it. Read it. It is definitely “time well-spent”.   🙂   You’ll feel better.   PS—I post about a variety of topics. Scroll down and see my last 12 posts, or explore my monthly archives. Thanks for stopping by.    –the Owl

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Examining Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. We want to worry less and to feel more joyful.  Let’s take a deeper look at that.  Some people are “a bundle of “nerves” ” where even small things trigger them into too much tension, anger, anxiety or some unpleasant emotion.   This is likely a body-chemistry thing with them—-drugs? too much caffeine, or some actual vitamin/mineral or hormone imbalance, keeping them  “off-center” and interfering with one’s well-being.

What if we could balance or restore our inner chemistry to 40% more inner Peace and 60% more enthusiastic Joy and zest?  Think more about this. If someone can feel “all wound up” where too-many-things-that-shouldn’t bothers them, then why can’t there be an inner-chemistry where we could far better be “less-rattled” by whatever comes up, (but not become uncaring or inactive or unresponsive) and also have more zest and smiling Joy (while still being rational).  Why not?  If an imbalance can mess us up, why cant a better (but Natural) internal mix make us more calm but also more energetically happy?

But– when I go to the Bookstore and scan through some paperbacks on Happiness,  no one talks about this. Instead, today its all about:

1. Just have friends
2.  and a job you like
3.  exercise
4.  manage your finances

A person could do/have all of those things, and still have a bad “internal body chemistry” and be agitated, easily angered, depressed, overly anxious anyway!!   Many people are.

While practicing “mindfulness” can be a healthy first step, too few people are doing it and it doesn’t seem to be enough of a help.  We need a better and healthier and natural better body chemistry where we can be less agitated (but not inactive) and yet have energy and feel like smiling more easily (while still being rational and coherent).  I’m not a doctor but that’s my opinion. Who couldn’t use more peace, and more Joy, more often?

HSP or Highly Sensitive Person is the new Manipulation fad.

Meet the latest false Fad. If the Narcissist tries to get their way by verbal bullying. criticism, manipulation, then the so-called “Highly Sensitive Person” (or HSP)  tries to get their way by taking introversion, passive-aggressiveness, and your compassion to the other extreme!

How do these people function in the workplace? I have visions of them abusing “work-life balance”, NOT being in the Top 15% most productive at work, being “overwhelmed” far too often and wanting to isolate themselves in a cubicle. If you try to get them to improve in any way, they will likely “get sick”. But you have to be extra super-nice to them, poor little things, because after all, their just so “sensitive”. With some of them, it can even be a sort of game where they may think they are better than you because they “feel more”, or are more spiritually developed because they are “empathic” or “intuitive” (its all the rage these days). But its the opposite of Narcissism. Its getting their way by playing on your Heartstrings and showing you “care”. But it goes much too far. As DR. Phil might say: “WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS?” and so—-
Dear HSP, Introvert and “Sensitive”,
We all deserve to be Happy.
Personal-growth, happy experiences and emotional health, matter.
Therefore, I’m going to make 2020 a better year. By doing healthy and practical self-care.
By not wasting any more time being endlessly patient, or to continue tolerating others who practically “glorify sickness”, or broken-ness, or Autism, or Depression or introversion, or “sensitivity”.

I WAS THERE, when you were hurting.
I WAS THERE when you needed Understanding!
I WAS THERE when you needed someone to listen. And I did—for far too long.
And you never got better.

After all this time, you’re as miserable and struggling as ever and it has now become a matter of my own self-preservation!
I can’t take anymore. Life is passing *me* by, and I was still patient with you! But you’ve exhausted me.
Since Love is a mutual thing, even among friends, I’m leaving. To make my own better times. While I still can. Before I’m too old.

I owe this to myself. We all do. Without guilt. They say: “Life is too short” and dealing with all of this is the proof! But no more.
My personal happiness has been denied too long and “caring” has sucked me dry. It isn’t Healthy! Where is my Joy? We all deserve it. Sometimes I feel like you are hiding behind “being sensitive” as an excuse to have folks be extra-nice to you as you make practically zero efforts to improve anything. What *are* you doing, right now, to get any better at all, and not so “sensitive”?
So, I hope you find a good therapist. And good medication from a Doctor if you need it.

I’m done with waiting for better times, someday.
I can’t wait another year for you to get better.
I *had* patience, lots of it, already. But you have to *want* to get better! Do you?
What steps are you taking right now to become happier? To have less stress? To smile and laugh more. To be more confident. To be less rattled.
I can’t fix you. And a healthy person wouldn’t want me trying to “fix” them.
Broken people don’t make healthy couples! So, work on yourself.
The Sun is out. The air is fresh. And there’s a world of Happy, yes happy, experiences and people out there. It’s high-time I enjoyed them! Starting now. So I’m moving on and doing that! This is nothing for me to apologize for or feel guilty about.
I do not mean any harm. I wish you well. I hope you find happiness, but it can no longer be with me. I was there for you, for too long. Hiding behind “being sensitive” is no excuse for your continued lack of action. Go get some professional help.

Frank James and 16 Personalities at the Therapist

Frank James has some funny Youtube videos, like this one:

 

How People Feel: taking another look

I am surprised that I haven’t seen or read of someone else already mentioning this, so I thought I’d share.

Chances are, you’ve already heard it said, many times, that: “people may not remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.”

Chances are, most of us reading that would easily agree with it and feel its true. And so, we leave it at that. We believe its true, we agree, and we pretty-much stop thinking about it and leave it right there.  I’ve don’t that myself, too.

And that is sort of the problem. We’ve stopped thinking any further.

I am being more watchful of the people who say that. Are they practicing what they preach? Are they setting an example? (They want everyone else to). Are they “walking-the-walk?” Or are they hypocrites?

And then you get the people who are uncaringly hurtful verbally and repeatedly and they try to justify it by quickly saying: “I’m just being honest. I call a spade, a spade.” (As if nobody else does). Do either of these people really care how *they* make others feel? But they want you to care. And be aware. And be watchful of yourself.

We can see similar things going on in other areas of life, too, like: :

It’s all-the-rage these days. Seemingly everybody-and-their-dog loves to rave on about:

1. “giving back” and–
2.  “making a difference” but—-8 times out of 10, they’re really  more concerned about getting recognition and praise for “making a difference” (would they have still done whatever if they couldn’t tell anyone they did it? I wonder. I really do) and——- for all the politically correct talk about giving-back-to-the-community, these same people never seem to be able to tell you exactly, specifically, WHAT did the “the community” ever do for them in the first place that they would feel the need to “give back?”  You will likely see a big Blank here, as apparently not 1 person in 50 will verbalize or specify anything definite.

Kindness to others is a good and positive thing, but It would appear that the problem is that too often when things are True, its easy for us to say: yeah, that’s true, I believe it…….and then not do it, or practice it.  Even the Golden Rule. And at other times, to do good, but to be unable or unwilling to tell others why we do it. Like “making a difference”. Suppose you were stranded on a sunny island with lots of abundant fruit growing and a fresh water stream and no wild animals, but no other people on the island. Now you cant do anything for others. How will you “make a difference?” There’s no one else there, to do anything for. What will you do? Would life automatically be meaningless? Could you still find a way to be Happy?

The Clifton Strengths Finder & the 34 Strengths

Ever have one of one of those moments where you could kick yourself for not paying more attention to something useful, earlier?  Learning more about Psychology and Personality and abilities can be fun. And useful.

Meet: The Clifton Strengths Finder. You can find out what your Top 5 Strengths are.

What comes easy to you? What do you already do well? What are you already strong in? Instead of focusing so much on “overcoming weaknesses”, why not take your strengths and really develop them into something dazzling? Let your competence and abilities Shine!

Here, on YouTube, Tim Collins starts with educating us about the 34 strengths. There is a video for each strength. Many of these are under 2 minutes, and informative!  Thanks, Tim Collins.

Psychology. Is Your Therapist Good or Bad? 12 Questions to help decide.

Psychology. Is your Therapist a good one or a bad one? Former  Psychotherapist Daniel Mackler asks 12 questions.  In any profession, or academic study, I enjoy it when those with inside knowledge are willing to offer a Critique. What do you think? Does he have any valid points?

 

ISTP Misconceptions

EJArendee talks about ISTP misconceptions via YouTube.  Good info. I wish more people would question the profiles of the 16 Types that they can read online.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMzcnf0uRaM

Myers-Briggs and the 16 Types. ISTP vs. INTJ

It’s fun, and informative, to read about the 16 Types (personality types) and the MBTI, also known as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. But one thing I have not seen discussed or written about specifically is: a comparison between SP’s and NJ’s. There has been things written about SP’s and NT’s, But what about SP vs. nJ?  This video by EJarendee on Youtube is the closest I’ve heard of that would deal with that. I thought it was a good video.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOdPRVZIIjU  (please highlight and paste that link into your browser and watch on Youtube. I don’t know why it won’t already highlight here. Other links do). One thing I would add on my own, in general, it sounds like INTJ’s are more “grand schemer/planners” (future oriented) where ISTP’s are more immediate “what’s the best thing that I can do right now” (present moment)? My opinion. Hope you like the video. Thanks, Youtube.

Love. Relationships. Compatibility.

Love! Romance! Good things. But will they last?  Hopefully, but it’s not guaranteed.

When loving, romantic couples also say: “I married my best friend”, I think that’s a good thing. When you never run out of things to talk about and both love to do many, many of the same things, it’s always more fun (and less fighting) that way.

Romance & passion matters, but then what? How about over the long term?

Imagine it’s a rainy night and the two of you are watching TV. Do you both like the same types of shows/movies or do you fight over what to watch? What if you’re terribly bored watching another one of “her” cooking shows? What if she’s fed up with watching yet another one of “his” law/crime shows? Does it become an argument? Do you sit there, frustrated and feeling like you’re “putting up with it”?

You go out to eat. Do you argue about which restaurant to go to this time or do you both like the same foods? Is she a Vegan? Does he like a Barbecued Steak? Or, it’s time to get away for the weekend and take a short 2 or 3 day trip. Does she hate the mountains? Does he hate the beach? Does it become a fight? Or, do you both like the same places? Compatibility! Common interests! They matter.

They say Marriage is work. It is. It will be said: “but people never agree on everything.” True, but why make it harder on yourself? Agree on the Big things. The things that YOU really like. The things you want your sweetie to enjoy *with* you. Find a kindred spirit that you are also attracted to! There are times we all need to compromise but more common interests means less arguing. Love is easier and more fun and lasts longer when you’re “both on the same wavelength.” We should pay more attention to that.

Thanks for reading this. I am theOwl30 and I post about several different topics. You can find more at: thewordpressowl.wordpress.com

Sam Kinison. Comedy.

Get ready to laugh. This is comedian Sam Kinison’s first appearance on the David Letterman show.  Thanks, Youtube.

Tuesday Trivia

Have some fun with this.

You are out walking. In the grass, you find a strange bottle. You pick it up. WHHOOOOOOSSHHH!

A magic Genie appears and makes you this offer:

You can live another 1000 years in energetic, perfect health. There is only one catch: you will also be extremely ugly and repulsive-looking.  Do you accept the offer?

#Trivia #HighSchool #Comedy