Women that I wouldn’t Date

Some people are just too darn Incompatible. Or weird. Or a pain in the ass, Or boring as hell. I wouldn’t date them. People such as:

1. Liberal Activists -(if whatever, is such a good idea, then YOU pay for it, instead of taxing and taking MY money).
2. Social Justice Warriors-(it’s NEVER enough with those people. They already have just as much “rights” as white people, probably even more, due to affirmative-action and/or protected group status. But they always want more, MORE…….a lost cause. Quit bitching).
3. Vegans, Vegetarians, Gluten-free Crusaders. These folks always LOSE at arm-wrestling, half of ’em look unhealthy anyway, or somewhat disheveled. So go enjoy yer bowl of Flaxseed and stay 20 miles away from me.
4. Lavender-haired, nose-pierced or tattooed anybody. They are pathetic attention-starved weirdos trying to see how bad-ass OR outrageous they can be, to get attention. LOSERS.
5. Politically-correct “politeness Nazi’s”. This doesn’t mean I’m going to see how crude I can be. I am simply not going to WORRY about it. I will speak my mind. You should, too. And this leads to—
6. People who say crap and don’t back it up at all. Imagine being married to your Honey, and disagreeing with him/her on whatever, and then when you ask what makes them think that way, they say: Oh, i dont know. I just feel that way. Ahem! The question was WHY. So get in touch with yourself, you un-insightful moron.
7. Disorganized people who always take 20 minutes to do anything that should only take 3 minutes.
8. World-travelled “rich-bitches” who just got back from: Hawaii, Tuscany, Paris, etc. and who, even so, STILL whine about how they “deserve better”. Spoiled brats.
9. Military brats (much as i DO respect the military) who always moved and never lived 5 or more years in any one place. Good chance they never really developed any friendships that were all that deep or lasting.
10. Anyone who majored in “Women’s studies” (translation: feminist men-haters) or “Environmental studies” (Get outta my face. Go COMPOST something, ya butthead.)

I know what some of you are thinking: that I won’t be dating much of anybody. #1. You are simply–wrong. #2. I’m not even the LEAST bit worried about that.

Which leads to a general question: Do we EVER call anyone else a LOSER anymore? Do you? DID you ever? If you used to, why not now? Are you gonna take some politically/correct or “looking-good” answer and say: well, i was immature then but I’ve grown up now? Ha! How slick, and too convenient. GREAT! Then YOU can go out with all the LOSERS that I’m avoiding. And I’ll be Happier. Touche’!

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1st Dates gone wrong

Ahhh, looking back on it all . . . (shakes head).  Some first-dates that went wrong:

#1.  Her: You could come over after we leave here…

Me:  You *are* single, aren’t you?

Her: Well….kind of. He’s not living with me.

Me: But legally, you’re still married, right?

Her: well, yeah….

Me: But I already said, right in the very beginning before we met, that I was looking for someone legally single or who’s divorce was Finalized.

(It all went downhill from there. I didn’t come over. No 2nd date).

#2. This date, we met for a drink downtown.  Actually, I felt the conversation was going quite well, and she was attractive, and then, completely out of nowhere and not related to anything we had been talking about, she asks me:  “SO! Do you Recycle?”  (I’m serious, she really asked that—WTF??)

Me: Umm, No, I don’t. I just dump it all in one big garbage can.

and then her bottom lip actually started to quiver a bit,  as she looked me right in the eyes with this worried look –and she said:  But  (quiver)…what…what about the LAND-fill?!?

(Ohhhh, brother!  Yeah, it went rapidly downhill from there. I was this loser-inconsiderate-Bum (or whatever she felt about me) because I didn’t care about the Planet, etc.   Sigh.

#3.  Her hair was shampooed. Slender figure, Skirt-n-blouse outfit looked nice. She probably just got off work. We sat down at our table. It wasn’t 3 minutes into it and she asks: SO! Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?

Me: (oh, God! Am i going out with the manager of Personnel?).  Probably still living in this city and  enjoying Life right here.   (I could tell that that wasn’t Aggressive or Goal-oriented enough, even though I was working full-time and paying my bills on time and had my own car and place away from my parents).  Maybe i should have said I would become the National CEO of Bank of America and then buy the 3 largest Castles in all of Italy. . .

4. This woman also invited me to her place. And she was single. I get there and she has me sit in her kitchen and offers me Herb Tea.  She sits in another chair, also in the kitchen, but her chair is right in front of –an artist’s EASEL …and I get to sit and watch her do “toll-painting”.  But hey, its only the first date, right?  But there’s hardly any conversation, either. She’s sooo focused on each of her little painting-details, right in front of me. No, she isn’t painting me, either. I try to make conversation but she hardly says a word and gives very short, almost “robot” answers.  One time, it was a sunny day and we were sitting in grass and she picked up a flower and sorta teasingly said: He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves not. He loves me. Then she smiled.  But nothing happened. Every time I came over, once again, she kept doing more painting, every time! We never even kissed. Finally, I once asked: Do you want to go out with me or do you wanna keep doing painting? and she says she has to get it done. And yet, she kept having me over. I gave up. Too boring.  and I had waited. Forget sex, we weren’t doing ANYTHING together! No movies, No road trips, no sports, no games. We didn’t go to the Mall. Toooo boring. I moved on.

#5. We met for a Pizza. She arrives. She’s too fat. By quite alot.  I’m not perfect, but seriously, I DO know that I can do better. But I’ll be nice and make the most of it. The Pizza comes, its good, and at least the conversation wasn’t awkward.  Until—-

She asks:  (looking straight at me!) SO! Have you ever “done it” in a Bath-tub full of Lime Jello?  (Yes, she really asked that).

Me: (pause)….welll, no. Can’t say that I’ve tried that one…..

Later, I thanked her but never called back.  That was years ago.

And to think, for all of these dates, we DID meet in a public place, first.  Those were all years ago. But i still remember.  (smiles to self) Life goes on . . . .

 

Ladies & Beauty

Remember when girls would go to GLAMOUR SHOTS? Almost all women ended up looking 15% better after a visit to them. Money well-spent. So-o, whatever happened to Glamour Shots? Are they still in business?

Seinfeld TV show

Seinfeld. It was a funny show. DVDs available through Amazon.com Enjoy!  Thanks, Youtube.

 

Bad Dates & Bad TV

There are many things that I don’t want to talk about on a 1st date. Or maybe any other time, too. And some things I’m totally sick of seeing on TV, sad and legitimate though they may be. Some are super-boring and some, while there may be a genuine need for help, are just “shoved-in-your-face” over and over and over and over on TV until you are worn out and now disgusted to see them at all.

Can I watch just ONE solid 7 day week of TV and NOT see any commercials whatsoever about:

1. Bladder leakage products
2.  Cancer-kids
3.  Wounded warriors
4.  Animal cruelty
5.  starving people in foreign countries

The need may be real, but the relentless overkill frequency of the commercials gives one “compassion fatigue” and becomes a real turn-off.   That said, some topics are super-boring when you meet a new person, or even afterwards. For me, I really bored silly over anyone wanting to talk about:

1.  “giving back” to the “community” or “making a difference”. Bleeaaaughh.  GO AWAY. Now!
2.  Anything Vegan, gluten-free, or how anyone is allegic to this and that and that and wants 4 accommodations whenever they go to any restaurant and interrogate the servers.
3.  Liberals, social “justice” warriors.
4.  the middle east
5.  Climate change and/or the Environment
6.  “Lightworkers”, quantum theory anything, Ekhart Tolle, Deepok Chopra or Oprah.
7.  People who love to keep deciding that this or that isn’t really “Appropriate”.
8. . people who are late, lax, unreliable and then say everything is “no big deal”.

What can I say? Good help is hard to find. But worth looking for.

Things I don’t give a DAMN about on a 1st date (and long after, too)

“Do we have anything in common”?  That’s the Magic question.

Finding a sweetie who is a “kindred spirit” can be wonderful. And—if they are “into” the wrong things, can be just as easily bbooorrrrrrrriinnngggg!!!

That said, when I’m on a date, I don’t wanna hear about (in no particular order):

1.Community Activism or “making a difference”. At all. Go away. Boring as hell.

2. Climate change or the landfills or over-population.

3.  The Middle east.

4. New Age “Lightworkers”, Deepok Chopra or Oprah.

5. Recycling, composting or a vegan diet or anything about gluten-free.

6. Special needs anything or wounded warriors –(sad as they are).

7. Classical music, oil paintings or opera’s.

Having said that, now…go forth and be interesting!