Gotta Luv Carmen Caboom! She’s Funny and speaks her mind. I wish she’d go back to doing more Youtube videos that are 20 minutes or Less, like she used to, but she’s still fun to listen to.
Warning: video contains Adult language.
Category Archives: #Adulting
Comedy or Stupidity?
Meet Travis Heinze.
He creates alot of his own trouble. Law enforcement was just doing his job, and sounded quite reasonable about it. But no, Heinze has to be sassy, contrary and dig himself in deeper. See also his other “Cop stop” videos on Youtube. He is lucky this encounter didnt go any worse for him.
Examining Happiness
Everyone wants to be happy. We want to worry less and to feel more joyful. Let’s take a deeper look at that. Some people are “a bundle of “nerves” ” where even small things trigger them into too much tension, anger, anxiety or some unpleasant emotion. This is likely a body-chemistry thing with them—-drugs? too much caffeine, or some actual vitamin/mineral or hormone imbalance, keeping them “off-center” and interfering with one’s well-being.
What if we could balance or restore our inner chemistry to 40% more inner Peace and 60% more enthusiastic Joy and zest? Think more about this. If someone can feel “all wound up” where too-many-things-that-shouldn’t bothers them, then why can’t there be an inner-chemistry where we could far better be “less-rattled” by whatever comes up, (but not become uncaring or inactive or unresponsive) and also have more zest and smiling Joy (while still being rational). Why not? If an imbalance can mess us up, why cant a better (but Natural) internal mix make us more calm but also more energetically happy?
But– when I go to the Bookstore and scan through some paperbacks on Happiness, no one talks about this. Instead, today its all about:
- Just have friends
- and a job you like
- exercise
- manage your finances
A person could do/have all of those things, and still have a bad “internal body chemistry” and be agitated, easily angered, depressed, overly anxious anyway!! Many people are.
While practicing “mindfulness” can be a healthy first step, too few people are doing it and it doesn’t seem to be enough of a help. We need a better and healthier and natural better body chemistry where we can be less agitated (but not inactive) and yet have energy and feel like smiling more easily (while still being rational and coherent). I’m not a doctor but that’s my opinion. Who couldn’t use more peace, and more Joy, more often?
Frank James and 16 Personalities at the Therapist
Frank James has some funny Youtube videos, like this one:
“My Opinion” – the Narcissist’s Revenge?
Maybe this has happened to you. You have been dealing with a Narcissist. This person often minimizes what you say, or ignores it with no response at all, or ridicules it, or acts like they know better than you—and if you call them out or confront them on it, then they say that they are not criticizing, or minimizing, but that they just disagree and you are wrong from: “their Perspective”. Its “their opinion” and they are entitled to their opinion, just like you are. Now what?
My response is: they have a right to their opinion, but nnoooooobody, disagrees *that* much! There must be something else, or something more, going on.
They hide behind “Subjectivity gone wild”. It’s all feelings. They aren’t reasoning with you as an adult.
Is anybody Healthy or together?
I enjoy reading about Psychology, personality disorders and happiness.
There is no shortage of advice out there, with tons of people who have become Life Coaches, Therapists, Counselors, Intuitives and on and on, all with their own “paths to wholeness”, advice, methods, etc. And it gets me asking some things:
- Is *anybody* “whole”, healthy and “together”?? Is everybody “broken”? What does a Positive Emotional Health look like? and just what is the right advice to follow?
Is it all about…… “letting go”? Is that the answer? Or— “setting Boundaries”? Or “being mindful”? Or communicating better at work? And at home? Or getting more Sleep? Or “trusting your Heart”? or better Time Management? Or being more alert and sensitive to spiritual “energies”? Is it about cutting people out of your Life who annoy you?
Is it all of those things? And—–after you have finally done them, what then? Will you be happy? Would you settle for “less miserable”? What will you do to put more positive Pleasure into your individual Life?
Is it all about “giving back to the Community”? Is it really? Tell me—exactly what, tangibly, has “the community” -Already- done for you, that you would feel some legitimate “Need” to “give back”? Did the community pay off your student loan? Buy your first house? Your car? Pay your medical bills? No? So what exactly are you giving back”? No one seems to know. Or they wont say.
Most of the so-called “giving back” is often just for –Recognition and one’s own image.
So! You went on a run and “Raced-for-the-Cure”? Because you “care”? Do you really? Or do you “Care” about wearing the ribbon you got for participating, to work the next day so several people will ask you what it is and you can tell them all how you “cared” and were “giving back”? Now you can feel better about yourself cuz you’ve one-upmanshipped them and can tell yourself you “cared more” than they did and how you “made a difference”. Is that your idea of happiness? And yet many people do this.
Would they have participated and gave back if they couldnt tell anyone about it? I wonder. Imagine you are stranded on a warm island with no wild animals to attack you and plenty of fruit growing everywhere but—-no other people on the island. You are alone. There is no “community” to “give back” to. and so—-is Happiness impossible? What would you do to be “whole and Integrated and grounded and to feel positive”? Ask yourself this! I believe its a good test.
….and on it goes, with advice, therapies, programs, techniques, revelations, etc…..and so i ask: after we’ve all finally:
become more assertive, eaten more fiber and flaxseed, drink more water, had more massages, get more sleep, get promoted, cleansed our bodies of toxins, seperated ourselves from Toxic people, practiced more Mindfulness, gotten more hugs, attended more seminars…….what then? What is positive emotional and grounded health? Is anybody Healthy? –theOwl30 PS—scroll down and read another 8 or 10 of my posts. I write/post about a variety of topics. Comment on anything. 🙂
Dress Codes
Most likely, where you work has some sort of Dress Code.
Who writes these things?
Get this: Employees will not wear:
Jeans that are ripped, Halter tops, tank tops, etc., etc.. on and on…..BUT——Blue Hair, Nose-rings, Yellow Lip-stick and weird/freaky hairstyles are just fine.
You cant be “distracting” with a sexually attractive appearance, (some places wont allow Sundresses, even though you are covered) but if you’re flat-out butt-ugly with tattoos and freaky hairstyles and grungy street-clothes and nose-rings or are just a plain outrageous eye-sore to the “community” (workplace) appearance, its OK.
So I ask: Just how outrageous would things need to get before we said” enough is enough” ? Too many today confuse “freedom-of-expression” with a “license” to see how glaring and odd they can be.
How People Feel: taking another look
I am surprised that I haven’t seen or read of someone else already mentioning this, so I thought I’d share.
Chances are, you’ve already heard it said, many times, that: “people may not remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.”
Chances are, most of us reading that would easily agree with it and feel its true. And so, we leave it at that. We believe its true, we agree, and we pretty-much stop thinking about it and leave it right there. I’ve don’t that myself, too.
And that is sort of the problem. We’ve stopped thinking any further.
I am being more watchful of the people who say that. Are they practicing what they preach? Are they setting an example? (They want everyone else to). Are they “walking-the-walk?” Or are they hypocrites?
And then you get the people who are uncaringly hurtful verbally and repeatedly and they try to justify it by quickly saying: “I’m just being honest. I call a spade, a spade.” (As if nobody else does). Do either of these people really care how *they* make others feel? But they want you to care. And be aware. And be watchful of yourself.
We can see similar things going on in other areas of life, too, like: :
It’s all-the-rage these days. Seemingly everybody-and-their-dog loves to rave on about:
- “giving back” and–
- “making a difference” but—-8 times out of 10, they’re really more concerned about getting recognition and praise for “making a difference” (would they have still done whatever if they couldn’t tell anyone they did it? I wonder. I really do) and——- for all the politically correct talk about giving-back-to-the-community, these same people never seem to be able to tell you exactly, specifically, WHAT did the “the community” ever do for them in the first place that they would feel the need to “give back?” You will likely see a big Blank here, as apparently not 1 person in 50 will verbalize or specify anything definite.
Kindness to others is a good and positive thing, but It would appear that the problem is that too often when things are True, its easy for us to say: yeah, that’s true, I believe it…….and then not do it, or practice it. Even the Golden Rule. And at other times, to do good, but to be unable or unwilling to tell others why we do it. Like “making a difference”. Suppose you were stranded on a sunny island with lots of abundant fruit growing and a fresh water stream and no wild animals, but no other people on the island. Now you cant do anything for others. How will you “make a difference?” There’s no one else there, to do anything for. What will you do? Would life automatically be meaningless? Could you still find a way to be Happy?
Weird Things That People Do Today
Do you ever “People-watch”? It can be amazing what you see.
What is up with these people who are INDOORS and walk around wearing a thick wooly head-cap? Is it Raining indoors? Or are you bald-headed?
What is up with 45 yr. old women who have a Metal nose-ring right smack in the bottom-middle of their nose? As if they have a metal booger hanging out.
And whats up with Black men who walk around on the job at work with their pants half-way down their butt-crack and with their underwear crunched and rolled up on top of their low-hanging pants but still below their shirt….in front of others in the breakroom with no shame as if everybody else does it, ummm, NO! They don’t. 98% of most other folks don’t. So why do they? It a helluva way to “get attention” or to be noticed.
Many people, at work, having lunch in the breakroom, will be on their cell phone. This has become more common but—-what is up with those people who are not only on their cell phone but are also wearing a BIG set of Noise-cancelling Headphones AND talking out loud to whoever 20 minutes of their half-hour lunchbreak, in front of 7 or 8 other people in the breakroom, as if no one was there but them?
Once I was on “a first-date” with a woman and I silently noticed that as she was eating her dinner she ordered…..she ate allllll her steak (only. first.) and then alllll of her broccoli, til it was all gone…and then alllll her French fries……one. thing. only. at. a. time. Ok, it’s harmless and you could say: “so what” –but –do you know anyone else who does this? Are they really *that* proud of their “orderliness”? What’s up? People are funny.
Happiness & “connections”
There seems to be a lot of talk these days in Psychology and self-help about finding happiness by having good “connections.”
People say its not what you have, but who we have. But if you believe that, then as soon as you’re 85 or older and have outlived your friends and are alone, then you are instantly not happy, because your connections have passed away and you’ve outlived them. So, unless you’ve also made new ones, you will be alone. And if you are alone, you aren’t “connected”. And if you aren’t connected, how can you still be happy if you believe this current fad? If all of your happiness is in “connections” but you have outlived your connections, is it now instant sadness? How can it not be, if your happiness is dependent on that, and the current writers on “connections” seem to put all of their eggs in that basket. I don’t see them offering anything else!
So if they pin all of their hope for happiness on that, and it dries-up and goes away, what then? Will you ever find Joy in living again? This goes unaddressed in todays raving about having good connections.
While connections can definitely give us Joy, the real question is: could you, still find joy, even without them? This does not mean that we seek or want to be alone, only that our life is not automatically ruined if we are. But that part isn’t being much talked about. Challenge the book-writers. Dare to question those who have a degree.
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