Examining Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. We want to worry less and to feel more joyful.  Let’s take a deeper look at that.  Some people are “a bundle of “nerves” ” where even small things trigger them into too much tension, anger, anxiety or some unpleasant emotion.   This is likely a body-chemistry thing with them—-drugs? too much caffeine, or some actual vitamin/mineral or hormone imbalance, keeping them  “off-center” and interfering with one’s well-being.

What if we could balance or restore our inner chemistry to 40% more inner Peace and 60% more enthusiastic Joy and zest?  Think more about this. If someone can feel “all wound up” where too-many-things-that-shouldn’t bothers them, then why can’t there be an inner-chemistry where we could far better be “less-rattled” by whatever comes up, (but not become uncaring or inactive or unresponsive) and also have more zest and smiling Joy (while still being rational).  Why not?  If an imbalance can mess us up, why cant a better (but Natural) internal mix make us more calm but also more energetically happy?

But—when I go to the Bookstore and scan through some paperbacks on Happiness,  no one talks about this. Instead, today its all about:

  1. Just have friends
  2.  and a job you like
  3.  exercise
  4.  manage your finances

Those are good things, but what no one is talking about is:

A person could do/have all of those things, and still have a bad “internal body chemistry” and be agitated, easily angered, depressed, overly anxious anyway!!   Many people are.

While practicing “mindfulness” can be a healthy first step, too few people are doing it and it doesn’t seem to be enough of a help.  We need a better and healthier and natural better body chemistry where we can be less agitated (but not inactive) and yet have energy and feel like smiling more easily (while still being rational and coherent).  I’m not a doctor but thats my opinion. Who couldnt use more peace, and more Joy, more often?

 

Service is over-rated.

Service, is overrated! Serving humanity. “A life of service.”

” Giving Back to the Community. ”

So that we can “Make a difference”.

And feel “empowered”.

Funny how no one ever spells out exactly what “the Community” ever already did for them, personally, so that they would ever feel any need to “give back” in the first place!

Its not that doing good things for others is bad, I’m not saying that. But its overrated. Far too many people do it so they can tell others that they did. They want the recognition.

To show they “cared”. And “made a difference”. Now, they get to feel “empowered.” And they “gave back to the Community” more than you did. It goes too far. And “being of service” far too often becomes a matter of putting burdens and a sense of obligation and Duty onto others –and ourselves!

Far too many people “give back” so that they can wear the pin or ribbon they got for “serving” to work the next day, so folks will ask them what that is, and maybe then they can 1-upmanship you and say how they “cared” enough to “make a difference” and now they “feel empowered” .

How much Volunteerism would really get done if you couldn’t tell anyone that you did it?

And, just suppose, what if loving  and seeking God counted more than how many sandwiches you made at the Soup kitchen, or how many fundraisers you went to, or marathons you ran in?  What if understanding spiritual laws and developing yourself spiritually counts more in the afterlife than your last fundraiser?

In the Bible, Jesus says in Matthew, chapter 22, verse 37 that the greatest commandment is that “you shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all of your soul and all of your mind.” In the very next verse,  verse 38, he adds that “This is the first and great commandment.”  After that, if you continue reading further, he goes on to say that the second  great commandment is “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

In my opinion, the problem today is that too many people are trying to do the 2nd commandment and ignoring the 1st.

While Charity and doing good works are commendable, i feel that “Making a Difference” is todays politically-correct all-the-rage FAD. Everyone-and-their-dog wants to “make a difference” –and while kindness is good,  “service” and  “giving back” can become a burden that robs you of  pleasure and Joy!

Don’t let it. Too much service can drain you emotionally. Some, is good. But watch out– it can become  “Duty gone wild”. And people really can get “compassion fatigue”. No matter how much you do, you can’t save the world.  It’s important to “feel alive!” , to have some Zest in life and to FEEL like smiling! Activists burn out. So do group organizers. Service becomes their “religion” or a 1-upmanship game with them to show everyone how much the “cared”.  But many of them don’t look happy. They may tell themselves they are doing the right thing, but when they are away from “the Cause”, how enthusiastic (about Life-in-general) are they? How often do they laugh? Very likely, not enough. I say: being a helpful coworker, yes. Being a sincere & reliable friend, yes. But being a service-fanatic or community-activist so you can “look good” around others, naaah.  What if you were stranded alone on a large island and couldn’t do anything for someone else? Would that make your Life meaningless?

I don’t always agree with Alan Watts, especially when he talks (in other videos) about “the Self”. Bleeaugh! But on some other things, I think he makes good points. But we all must decide for ourselves.

 

Living an Adult Life Should Still Have Joy

In my opinion, the sad part of being an Adult is that too often people behave as if they believe that Adulthood means they have to go through Life much more serious about everything.

Responsibility is a good thing and part of being a good adult. But they don’t have to become a Workaholic, or join committees, or put in too much overtime, and then pride themself on how “motivated” they are but–have no life outside of their career!
Nearly “All drudgery, all the time!”
All in the name of being responsible.
But not much Joy.
It’s interesting. You ask them “what’s goin’ on?” and it’s nearly always about how they are so “busy” running lots of errands and going to the bank, paying their phone bill, their heat bill, seeing the dentist, mowing their lawn, giving their car a tune up, etc.

OK, so they have it together. That’s good. We should get those things done.
The bad and sad part is: That’s it!
With far too few exceptions. Where is the Fun?
—and it is much, much too rare that you see, or hear, them talk about any funny movie they saw, or any beach-trip they took, or a new restaurant they ate in, or a new book they read, or that they went bowling or played pool, Rode a bike, hiked a trail, had a picnic or spent 2 hrs. in the Mall for fun?
Nope. 100 excuses.
They are just “too busy”. Or,
It costs too much (it doesn’t), it’s too far to go (it really isn’t) , or they’re just “not into that” (but they used to like it). And I don’t just mean partying.
Even seeing a movie in a theatre doesn’t happen anywhere near like it used to. Maybe later this summer. If they “have time”. Busyness and “getting my stuff done” has become almost like a new drug, (or at least a boring rut).

They don’t see it that way at all.
After all, there’s work to be done. (Only? They will say no but what else do they do?)
That’s their right and they are not here to live up to what I think is best. After all, it’s their life.

But I notice:
A) Their Life is losing it’s former variety, and becoming quite a bit more repetitive.
B) While becoming more Adult, their increased “maturity” has caused them to have less of a sense of humor. They get embaressed more easily. (God only knows why). I’m not talking about anything wild or outrageous or glaring, but just too on guard in public about what anyone might see or hear and too worried about it. But most people don’t care. They probably won’t even notice. But the alertness and concern persists.
C) For some reason, Etiquette sometimes becomes a game of: they were more polite or considerate than you were. Example: you went out to eat and you left a tip. But they had to leave a bigger one.

One more thing: I have sometimes joked that if I live to be 85, I’ll be wild and shake my Tush like Elvis. Most people laugh when they hear that. And admire that spirit of being playful even in old age.
But then, isn’t it sad when as Adults, we don’t “let our hair down” at 50 yrs. old even if it’s 2 notches down from that? All in the name of “maturity”, but where’s the Joy?

#20-Somethings #Adulthood #Growth #PersonalGrowth #Happiness #Life #Career #Teens #Goals #Psychology #SelfImage