HSP or Highly Sensitive Person is the new Manipulation fad.

Meet the latest false Fad. If the Narcissist tries to get their way by verbal bullying. criticism, manipulation, then the so-called “Highly Sensitive Person” (or HSP)  tries to get their way by taking introversion, passive-aggressiveness, and your compassion to the other extreme!

How do these people function in the workplace? I have visions of them abusing “work-life balance”, NOT being in the Top 15% most productive at work, being “overwhelmed” far too often and wanting to isolate themselves in a cubicle. If you try to get them to improve in any way, they will likely “get sick”. But you have to be extra super-nice to them, poor little things, because after all, their just so “sensitive”. With some of them, it can even be a sort of game where they may think they are better than you because they “feel more”, or are more spiritually developed because they are “empathic” or “intuitive” (its all the rage these days). But its the opposite of Narcissism. Its getting their way by playing on your Heartstrings and showing you “care”. But it goes much too far. As DR. Phil might say: “WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS?” and so—-
Dear HSP, Introvert and “Sensitive”,
We all deserve to be Happy.
Personal-growth, happy experiences and emotional health, matter.
Therefore, I’m going to make 2020 a better year. By doing healthy and practical self-care.
By not wasting any more time being endlessly patient, or to continue tolerating others who practically “glorify sickness”, or broken-ness, or Autism, or Depression or introversion, or “sensitivity”.

I WAS THERE, when you were hurting.
I WAS THERE when you needed Understanding!
I WAS THERE when you needed someone to listen. And I did—for far too long.
And you never got better.

After all this time, you’re as miserable and struggling as ever and it has now become a matter of my own self-preservation!
I can’t take anymore. Life is passing *me* by, and I was still patient with you! But you’ve exhausted me.
Since Love is a mutual thing, even among friends, I’m leaving. To make my own better times. While I still can. Before I’m too old.

I owe this to myself. We all do. Without guilt. They say: “Life is too short” and dealing with all of this is the proof! But no more.
My personal happiness has been denied too long and “caring” has sucked me dry. It isn’t Healthy! Where is my Joy? We all deserve it. Sometimes I feel like you are hiding behind “being sensitive” as an excuse to have folks be extra-nice to you as you make practically zero efforts to improve anything. What *are* you doing, right now, to get any better at all, and not so “sensitive”?
So, I hope you find a good therapist. And good medication from a Doctor if you need it.

I’m done with waiting for better times, someday.
I can’t wait another year for you to get better.
I *had* patience, lots of it, already. But you have to *want* to get better! Do you?
What steps are you taking right now to become happier? To have less stress? To smile and laugh more. To be more confident. To be less rattled.
I can’t fix you. And a healthy person wouldn’t want me trying to “fix” them.
Broken people don’t make healthy couples! So, work on yourself.
The Sun is out. The air is fresh. And there’s a world of Happy, yes happy, experiences and people out there. It’s high-time I enjoyed them! Starting now. So I’m moving on and doing that! This is nothing for me to apologize for or feel guilty about.
I do not mean any harm. I wish you well. I hope you find happiness, but it can no longer be with me. I was there for you, for too long. Hiding behind “being sensitive” is no excuse for your continued lack of action. Go get some professional help.

Clint Eastwood on Discipline and Adulting

Clint Eastwood is Awesome!   Warning: contains adult language. Viewer discretion is advised.

Tuesday Trivia

Have some fun with this.

You are out walking. In the grass, you find a strange bottle. You pick it up. WHHOOOOOOSSHHH!

A magic Genie appears and makes you this offer:

You can live another 1000 years in energetic, perfect health. There is only one catch: you will also be extremely ugly and repulsive-looking.  Do you accept the offer?

#Trivia #HighSchool #Comedy

“Dear HSP, Depressed, and Sensitive

Dear HSP, Depressed and “Sensitive”,

We all deserve to be Happy.

Personal-growth, happy experiences and emotional health, matter.

Therefore, I’m going to make 2018 a better year. By not wasting any more time being endlessly patient, or to continue tolerating others who practically “glorify sickness”, or broken-ness, or Autism, or Depression or introversion, or “sensitivity”.

I WAS THERE, when you were hurting. I WAS THERE when you needed Understanding! I WAS THERE when you needed someone to listen. And I did. For far too long.
And you never got better.
After all this time, you’re as miserable and struggling as ever and it has now become a matter of my own self-preservation!

I can’t take anymore. Life is passing *me* by, and I was still patient with you! But you’ve exhausted me.

Since Love is a mutual thing, even among friends, I’m leaving.      To make my own better times. While I still can. Before I’m too old.

I owe this to myself. We all do. Without guilt. They say: “Life is too short” and dealing with all of this is the proof! But no more. My personal happiness has been denied too long and “caring” has sucked me dry. Meanwhile, as the months, and even years went by, LIFE has been passing me by. It isn’t right. It isn’t Healthy! Sometimes I feel like you are hiding behind “being sensitive” as an excuse to have folks be extra-nice to you as you make practically zero efforts to improve anything. What *are* you doing? How “caring” are you?

So, I hope you find a good therapist. And good medication from a Doctor if you need it. Or a different & better medication from your doctor if your current one isn’t working. I’m done with waiting for better times, someday.

I can’t wait another year for you to get better.
I *had* patience, lots of it, already. But you have to *want* to get better! Do you? What steps are you taking right now to become happier? To have less stress? To smile and laugh more. To be more confident. To be less rattled.
I can’t fix you. And a healthy person wouldn’t want me trying to “fix” them.

Broken people don’t make healthy couples!  So, work on yourself.
The Sun is out. The air is fresh. And there’s a world of Happy, yes happy, experiences and people out there. It’s high-time I enjoyed them!  Starting now. So I’m moving on and doing that!  This is nothing for me to apologize for or feel guilty about.
I do not mean any harm. I wish you well. I hope you find happiness, but it can no longer be with me. I was there for you, for too long. Hiding behind “being sensitive” is no excuse for your continued lack of action. Go get some professional help.

#Self-Preservation #Happiness #Survival #HSP #Depression #Relationships

HSP. Highly Sensitive Person.

I didn’t know it was “a thing”. Or is it? What do *you* think about it?

All of a sudden I am seeing posts written about something called a HSP, a “Highly Sensitive Person.”

I can understand being an Introvert. Some folks need more alone time. Or aren’t as talkative. But—

I just shake my head over this one. I am not a psychologist, but in my everyday layman’s opinion—this takes Introversion to a whole new level. If it were on-the-job, I have a hard time seeing how it *wouldn’t* be a disability! My opinion.

It is even tempting to say this is a new “fad ailment” or even a very slick passive-aggressive way of manipulating others. Here’s how: Many people back-down when with an overbearing, “aggressive/naricissist/”steamroller” type of person. We are walking on eggshells. We give-in just to “keep the peace”. But this Highly Sensitive Person stuff could be the other end of the scale. In this case, likewise, you can easily be on eggshells as you have to be constantly alert, not wanting to offend, overwhelm or hurt the HSP. But in both cases, YOU are the one who is on-guard, changing *your* behavior, making all sorts of accomodations, while the other person gets their way, with you. Passive-Aggressive manipulation? But there’s more–

To say it quite plainly, you simply cannot be yourself with these people! And that shouldn’t be, in a healthy relationship. So many things “overwhelm” them. It’s too draining.

Each interaction is all about being careful. And you have to do it, because if you don’t you can be immediately slapped with being “selfish, uncaring or insensitive”. This could be a very slick way of “playing helpless” and a passive-aggressive way of getting others to bend to the HSP’s wants and needs. Just the opposite end of the scale from dealing with “the Steamroller.”

But perhaps it IS a real medical “thing”, being an HSP. But if that’s the case, how many of us signed up to become caregivers? Imagine a high-school girl going on a first date with someone like this, and she dumps him after the first date. When asked why she did that, she replies: “he was boring and everything bothered him. I hope he can find happiness but I’m not his nurse. He was too draining. And there are 6 other guys I can go out with who would be more fun.” I can see that. Easily!

But what if it isn’t a medical condition? Is it? Some of the things I read about it make it sound, to me,  a bit related to Autism. But I’m not a Doctor.  Either way, I believe in sincere friendships, and helping someone through a rough patch in Life. However, I’ll bet that people like this (HSP) will very likely still be like this 8 yrs. later. I feel they need help beyond what I can give them. Even if they don’t need help, it becomes too taxing to continue being so on-guard with them each time we are together and making one accomodation after another. Being considerate and caring are good things, but they can also sometimes become an endless Black Hole. And I believe “Compassion fatigue” is also a real thing.
#HSP #Manipulation #Passive-Aggressive #HighlySensitivePerson #Depression #Psychology

Boundaries, Narcissism and Assertiveness

Boundaries! Personal Rights! How much will relatives or friends accuse you of being selfish or being a “narcissist” if you dare to lay down any rules? How do -you- decide whether it’s being “too controlling” or you are excersizing a legitimate right, even if someone else doesn’t like it?

Try this scenario:
Let’s assume you have your own car and your own separate place to live, but in the same town or within 25 minutes away.

Question: in your siblings house, who is in charge?
Answer: they are.
Why?
Because it”s their house. Simple.
Next question: who is in charge in their car?
Answer: they are.
Why?
Because it’s their car. Again, simple.

So! If they are a passenger in your car and you are driving, and you have the radio on, or a playing a CD in your car while driving, and they don’t like that song, or that kind of music and tell you: that music sucks. I don’t want to listen to that crap. Play it on your own time when I’m  not here.
What will you do?
Who is in charge in *their* car? Would an aquaintance or someone at work who’s car broke down and needs a ride, would that person tell you what to listen to or to shut it off? I think very likely NOT. Why should family have any more “power”?

Have you ever considered that their wanting you to shut it off is *their* way of being a control freak or trying to dominate you or for them to be “in charge”? Could it be another small way of them trying to manipulate you?

Suppose they said they would turn it off in their car if you didn’t like it. Do you believe them? And what if they did? Should their personal choices require you to be obligated?  What if they came into your house and told you to change the TV show (which you like) to something else? Do you really have to let people dominate you in little ways like this in order to not be “selfish” or “inconsiderate”? They don’t mind one bit that you are giving in to them, but who’s house is it?

It you can’t have boundaries:  1. In your own house, or
2. In your own car—where can you??  Where do they?
Do you disagree? Why?
#Boundaries #Manipulation #PowerTrips #Assertiveness #Respect #Communication #Family #PersonalRights #Teens #Adults #Guilt #Happiness #Relationships