How to get even with a Narcissist by Stephanie Lyn

Narcissism stinks. And you don’t have to just sit there and take it.

It’s time you got even.  Meet Stephanie Lyn, a Life Coach. This is a good video. She is believable and helpful.

“My Opinion” – the Narcissist’s Revenge?

Maybe this has happened to you.  You have been dealing with a Narcissist. This person often minimizes what you say, or ignores it with no response at all, or ridicules it, or acts like they know better than you—and if you call them out or confront them on it, then they say that they are not criticizing, or  minimizing, but that they just disagree and you are wrong from:  “their Perspective”.   Its “their opinion” and they are entitled to their opinion, just like you are.

Now what?

Everything is matter of opinion with them. Or “perspective”. And in their eyes you are simply wrong from “their perspective”.

How would you answer that?  What can you do now?  My response is:  you have a right to your opinion, but nnooooobody, disagrees *that* much! There must be something else, or more, going on.

What can you say when with nearly every disagreement they hide behind: that’s how it is from “their perspective” and in their opinion?   This appears to be like “Subjectivity gone wild”.   Any thoughts?  Leave comments.   Thanks.

 

 

 

Is anybody Healthy or together?

I enjoy reading about Psychology, personality disorders and happiness.

There is no shortage of advice out there, with tons of people who have become Life Coaches, Therapists, Counselors, Intuitives and on and on, all with their own “paths to wholeness”, advice, methods, etc.  And it gets me asking some things:

  1. Is *anybody*   “whole”, healthy and “together”??   Is everybody “broken”?  What does a Positive Emotional Health look like? and just what is the right advice to follow?

Is it all about…… “letting go”?  Is that the answer?  Or— “setting Boundaries”?   Or  “being mindful”?  Or communicating better at work?  And at home?  Or getting more Sleep? Or “trusting your Heart”? or better Time Management?  Or being more alert and sensitive to spiritual “energies”?  Is it about cutting people out of your Life who annoy you?

Is it all of those things? And—–after you have finally done them, what then?  Will you be happy?   Would you settle for “less miserable”?   What will you do to put more positive Pleasure into your individual Life?

Is it all about “giving back to the Community”?   Is it really?  Tell me—exactly what, tangibly, has “the community” -Already-  done for you, that you would feel some legitimate “Need” to “give back”?   Did the community pay off your student loan?  Buy your first house?  Your car?  Pay your medical bills?  No? So what exactly are you giving back”?  No one seems to know. Or they wont say.

Most of the so-called “giving back” is often just for –Recognition and one’s own image.

So! You went on a run and “Raced-for-the-Cure”? Because you “care”?   Do you really? Or do you “Care” about wearing the ribbon you got for participating, to work the next day so several people will ask you what it is and you can tell them all how you “cared” and were “giving back”?  Now you can feel better about yourself cuz you’ve one-upmanshipped them and can tell yourself you “cared more” than they did and how you “made a difference”.  Is that your idea of happiness?   And yet many people do this.

Would they have participated and gave back if they couldnt tell anyone about it?  I wonder. Imagine you are stranded on a warm island with no wild animals to attack you and plenty of fruit growing everywhere but—-no other people on the island.  You are alone. There is no “community” to “give back” to. and so—-is Happiness impossible?  What would you do to be “whole and Integrated and grounded and to feel positive”?  Ask yourself this! I believe its a good test.

….and on it goes, with advice, therapies, programs, techniques, revelations, etc…..and so i ask:  after we’ve all finally:

become more assertive, eaten more fiber and flaxseed, drink more water, had more massages, get more sleep, get promoted,  cleansed our bodies of toxins, seperated ourselves from Toxic people, practiced more Mindfulness, gotten more hugs, attended more seminars…….what then?    What is positive emotional and grounded health?  Is anybody Healthy?   –theOwl30       PS—scroll down and read another 8 or 10 of my posts. I write/post about a variety of topics. Comment on anything.   🙂

Oldies! “In Love” by Mike Sheridan and the Night Riders

Get up & dance!   🙂

Love the reverb in the Vocals.  There’s just something about that song. The kind I could rewind and play again 3 more times.  This is “In Love” by Mike Sheridan and the Night Riders.  A 60’s british rock-n-roll oldie.    Share this.  Enjoy!

 

“Nothing Can Change This Love” by The Merseys.

I Love it!

Melody. Harmonies. Beat. Feeling. It’s all there.  This is a 60’s Oldie called: “Nothing Can Change This Love” by The Merseys.

We need more music with harmonies like this, today!

 

 

Busy is Bad.

“How’s it goin’?”   …and people will say: “Busy”.

“Hey! We’re all gettin’ together next thursday night, should be fun, wanna join us?” ……and you might hear: “Let me check my Calendar”

It seems like people just cant be happy unless they are “Busy”.  Too bad for *them!* Because much, much too often, their busy-ness means they are too busy for FUN.  And they miss out.  Over-committed. To things they don’t enjoy.  Yes, *do* be responsible, but I’ll bet 80% of the things you have written on your calendar, the reminders, are NOT for things that are fun. Or enjoyable. But nonetheless, you volunteered or said you’d  do them.  So there you are. Booked up. Over-committed and too busy, for EnJOYment. Where’s the JOY?

I suspect alot of them don’t care. Who knows, maybe they are more into “seeming important” by having all these things going on. So maybe their idea of “success” is more important to them than FUN. Or Enjoyment! They will tell themselves they are “being responsibile”.  We all should be, but thats the default setting. We want to Elevate above that, and be (dare i say it?)  Happy!   🙂

In some cases it may be even worse than that. Maybe they aren’t really busy but lie and say they are. Why would they do that? Perhaps they feel a life that isnt busy is “unproductive” or boring and so they are nearly paranoid about LOOKING like a real go-getter and it sounds more politically correct to be “Busy”.  Some people may even think of feeling happy as a “luxury” and resign themselves to drudgery. But thats just trying to paint a politically-correct face, on depression.  What makes you SMILE? Come Alive! Gives you Zest and enthusiasm?  Good emotions, are good for you! Remember that.

Being “Busy” is a fad.  But they can have it.  I dont want it. With no regrets whatsoever. I want to live a life, a happy life, without even owning any Day Planner at all.  With as *little*  crammed onto my Calendar as possible, so that—-I will have MAXIMUM unscheduled-free-time!!– to be AVAILABLE and OPEN to any FUN when it comes along.   To bad for the rest of you “Busy” suckers.

“How’s it goin’, Owl?”

Me: “FANTASTIC!  I have the JOY of FREE time to do whatever I want at a moments notice, or not, however I choose.  I am NOT “in a hurry” and NOT having any ulcers worrying about all these places i hafta be because I’m scheduled so “tight”, like so many other poor suckers. And I don’t have to worry about meetings or traffic or being late. How YOU doin’?”  haha

Them: well, busy.

Me: Maybe you just suck at Time Management.

Let that sink in.  And then sink in some more. And then ask yourself:

  1. When was the last time I drove to the Beach, sat on a driftwood log eating a sandwich and listening to the powerful ocean waves and the seagulls and feeling the misty air?

2. When was the last time I “cleared my schedule” and  spent from 10am til 10pm with my sweetie?

3. When was the last time I had the house to myself, NO CALLS, and sat in my favorite recliner with some soft background music while i spent all day reading a book that I bought?

4. When was the last time i took myself out to lunch, spent all afternoon leisurely walking around the Mall, then having another bite to eat for dinner and then going to see a movie in a big-screen Theatre?

5. When was the last time I filled up the gas tank in the car and got on the freeway and took a scenic drive, 3 hours one way, just to unwind, get out of town and have a refreshing change of scenery?

Them: welllll, I’d like to  but, I’m, um, busy.

Me: That’s right. you are.  And who’s fault is that? And you’re so “busy” that you don’t have Time:   for FUN, for DATES, for day-trips, for unwinding & quiet time….and Life is passing you by!

Bad Dates & Bad TV

There are many things that I don’t want to talk about on a 1st date. Or maybe any other time, too. And some things I’m totally sick of seeing on TV, sad and legitimate though they may be. Some are super-boring and some, while there may be a genuine need for help, are just “shoved-in-your-face” over and over and over and over on TV until you are worn out and now disgusted to see them at all.

Can I watch just ONE solid 7 day week of TV and NOT see any commercials whatsoever about:

  1. Bladder leakage products
  2.  Cancer-kids
  3.  Wounded warriors
  4.  Animal cruelty
  5.  starving people in foreign countries

The need may be real, but the relentless overkill frequency of the commercials gives one “compassion fatigue” and becomes a real turn-off.   That said, some topics are super-boring when you meet a new person, or even afterwards. For me, I really bored silly over anyone wanting to talk about:

  1.  “giving back” to the “community” or “making a difference”. Bleeaaaughh.  GO AWAY. Now!
  2.  Anything Vegan, gluten-free, or how anyone is allegic to this and that and that and wants 4 accommodations whenever they go to any restaurant and interrogate the servers.
  3.  Liberals, social “justice” warriors.
  4.  the middle east
  5.  Climate change and/or the Environment
  6.  “Lightworkers”, quantum theory anything, Ekhart Tolle, Deepok Chopra or Oprah.
  7.  People who love to keep deciding that this or that isn’t really “Appropriate”.
  8. . people who are late, lax, unreliable and then say everything is “no big deal”.

What can I say? Good help is hard to find. But worth looking for.

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