EJArendee talks about ISTP misconceptions via YouTube. Good info. I wish more people would question the profiles of the 16 Types that they can read online. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMzcnf0uRaM
Book: “The 60-second Shrink” (Over 100 Strategies for Staying Sane in a Crazy World) by Arnold A. Lazarus PH,D. and Clifford N. Lazarus PH,D.
Lots of useful advice in this book! From the Table of Contents: 1. What to Say When You Talk to Yourself
22. The Dangers of Faulty Positive Thinking
31. Setting Realistic Goals
41. Keys to a Successful Marriage
62. Assertion, Aggression and Passivity
89. The Three Major Types of Psychotherapies
97. Got a Problem? Take Something for it? Or Do Something About it?
And there’s much more. A useful and handy reference to have.
Love! Romance! Good things. But will they last? Hopefully, but it’s not guaranteed.
When loving, romantic couples also say: “I married my best friend”, I think that’s a good thing. When you never run out of things to talk about and both love to do many, many of the same things, it’s always more fun (and less fighting) that way.
Romance & passion matters, but then what? How about over the long term?
Imagine it’s a rainy night and the two of you are watching TV. Do you both like the same types of shows/movies or do you fight over what to watch? What if you’re terribly bored watching another one of “her” cooking shows? What if she’s fed up with watching yet another one of “his” law/crime shows? Does it become an argument? Do you sit there, frustrated and feeling like you’re “putting up with it”?
You go out to eat. Do you argue about which restaurant to go to this time or do you both like the same foods? Is she a Vegan? Does he like a Barbecued Steak? Or, it’s time to get away for the weekend and take a short 2 or 3 day trip. Does she hate the mountains? Does he hate the beach? Does it become a fight? Or, do you both like the same places? Compatibility! Common interests! They matter.
They say Marriage is work. It is. It will be said: “but people never agree on everything.” True, but why make it harder on yourself? Agree on the Big things. The things that YOU really like. The things you want your sweetie to enjoy *with* you. Find a kindred spirit that you are also attracted to! There are times we all need to compromise but more common interests means less arguing. Love is easier and more fun and lasts longer when you’re “both on the same wavelength.” We should pay more attention to that.
Thanks for reading this. I am theOwl30 and I post about several different topics. You can find more at: thewordpressowl.wordpress.com
People tell you to “think positive”. What could be wrong with that? Actually, quite a bit. More than you think. No, even more than that!
Does this mean we should think negatively? No. It doesn’t. But in her book “Bright-Sided”, author Barbara Ehrenreich shows us just how rampant and wide-spread and too-much-of-a-good-thing “being positive” has become. Read this book! After about pg. 30, it gets reeeeally eye-opening. Maybe even shocking. Most people have nnoooo idea how New Thought began, and how it got applied and over-used in so many different areas. This is an informative read. People need this info.
This will not be a popular post. It isn’t “Politically correct”. But underneath any irritation you might feel, I suspect there is some embaressment.
I have grown tired of people who are always the ones to so quickly say:
- “It’s a process.” or–
- I’M “a work in progress”. Or–
- Well, making a mistake just shows you’re human. or–
- I’m “working on it” but I’m “still in recovery.”
That’s the Problem! More on that in just a bit but first–
Yes, it is good if you needed help and got yourself into recovery. Also, none of us is perfect and we will make mistakes and we are human.
The problem is:
- They never seem to “get Recovered!” They are always still recover-ING! and-
- (I said it wasn’t politically correct)–mark it down. The ones who are quickest to say: well, a mistake just shows you’re human….these are THE same people who will screw up –the most often–, as opposed to the ones who don’t make a point to say that. It may be True, and it is, but still, you can bet that the ones in the group who say it out loud will be the FIRST ones to re-screw-up, soonest, and most often. Because, after all—
- They are a work “in Progress”.
But that’s exactly my point. Nobody ever “arrives” or “gets there”. Where is the person who “has Overcome!” ? No, they are still overcom-ING. But they are never “there” yet. It’s always “in the process”. Ughhh!
But isn’t Life a matter of continued learning? Yes, it is, and hopefully you care about that. But I don’t feel that means we go on and on for years with the same problem and call it “a work in progress”. I’d rather learn, apply, work on it, and fix what’s wrong and “overcome”. Life will likely have new problems, anyway. To put it bluntly, always “working on it” but never finishing it…always recover-ING but never being recovered….repeatedly screwing up and casually chalking it up to “being human”, is simply much, much too often a lame excuse for NEVER GETTING BETTER. And they don’t. Far, far too often. (So much for “caring” about Self-improvement and personal growth.).
I can hear the criticism now: “well! I’m glad *you’re* perfect.” Reply: I’m not. But I make an effort to not keep repeating the -same- mistakes. Reply#2: 6 months from now, I may still have problems, but at least they won’t still be the same ones!
Broken people don’t make Healthy couples! Get well. Be whole. Get there.
Self-Creation by Dr. George Weinberg. This is one of the top 5 best self-help books I’ve ever read!
Not another ultra-positive “fluff” book. Insightful. Believable. Useful. Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble Books should be able to get it for you. A great book that applies to real-life everyday situations.
#Books #Psychology #SelfHelp #Depression #PersonalGrowth #Adulting