I didn’t know it was “a thing”. Or is it? What do *you* think about it?
All of a sudden I am seeing posts written about something called a HSP, a “Highly Sensitive Person.”
I can understand being an Introvert. Some folks need more alone time. Or aren’t as talkative. But—
I just shake my head over this one. I am not a psychologist, but in my everyday layman’s opinion—this takes Introversion to a whole new level. If it were on-the-job, I have a hard time seeing how it *wouldn’t* be a disability! My opinion.
It is even tempting to say this is a new “fad ailment” or even a very slick passive-aggressive way of manipulating others. Here’s how: Many people back-down when with an overbearing, “aggressive/naricissist/”steamroller” type of person. We are walking on eggshells. We give-in just to “keep the peace”. But this Highly Sensitive Person stuff could be the other end of the scale. In this case, likewise, you can easily be on eggshells as you have to be constantly alert, not wanting to offend, overwhelm or hurt the HSP. But in both cases, YOU are the one who is on-guard, changing *your* behavior, making all sorts of accomodations, while the other person gets their way, with you. Passive-Aggressive manipulation? But there’s more–
To say it quite plainly, you simply cannot be yourself with these people! And that shouldn’t be, in a healthy relationship. So many things “overwhelm” them. It’s too draining.
Each interaction is all about being careful. And you have to do it, because if you don’t you can be immediately slapped with being “selfish, uncaring or insensitive”. This could be a very slick way of “playing helpless” and a passive-aggressive way of getting others to bend to the HSP’s wants and needs. Just the opposite end of the scale from dealing with “the Steamroller.”
But perhaps it IS a real medical “thing”, being an HSP. But if that’s the case, how many of us signed up to become caregivers? Imagine a high-school girl going on a first date with someone like this, and she dumps him after the first date. When asked why she did that, she replies: “he was boring and everything bothered him. I hope he can find happiness but I’m not his nurse. He was too draining. And there are 6 other guys I can go out with who would be more fun.” I can see that. Easily!
But what if it isn’t a medical condition? Is it? Some of the things I read about it make it sound, to me, a bit related to Autism. But I’m not a Doctor. Either way, I believe in sincere friendships, and helping someone through a rough patch in Life. However, I’ll bet that people like this (HSP) will very likely still be like this 8 yrs. later. I feel they need help beyond what I can give them. Even if they don’t need help, it becomes too taxing to continue being so on-guard with them each time we are together and making one accomodation after another. Being considerate and caring are good things, but they can also sometimes become an endless Black Hole. And I believe “Compassion fatigue” is also a real thing.
#HSP #Manipulation #Passive-Aggressive #HighlySensitivePerson #Depression #Psychology