Carona virus, Cabin Fever & good Movies

As  we spend more time indoors due to the Carona Virus, here are some good movie/DVD/TV recommendations.   In no particular order:

  1. LMN (Lifetime Movie Network).  If you have cable TV, this channel basically shows one 2hr movie after another.  A surprising amount of good movies.  Great suspense! Movies involving: fake identities, stalkers, school crushes with the wrong person, warped psychos, people wanting revenge, evil neighbors and ripped-from-the-headlines stories. The good guys usually win, but can go through hell getting there.
  2. . the movie, “Police Academy”.  Maloney is a goof-off/prankster. It’s just plain funny. Buy the DVD or rent this.
  3.  “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” w/Steve Martin. The poor guy just wants to get home for the holidays to be with his family and one-thing-after-another goes wrong.  You gotta see this.
  4.  “The Dead Zone”.  a 70s movie. Its been a long time. Was it about mind control? But after all these years, I remember it was a good one.
  5.  “Firestarter”. Based on a Stephen King novel.
  6.  “Porkey’s”    Porkeys was a bar. The owner is a crabby old man. Some high school or college kids get revenge. Funny.  And—

Along with good movies, now is a good time to get the Family together, order a Pizza and get together around a big table and play some fun old Board Games.  People did more of this back in, say, 1970. It was a fun way to connect with friends. We can still do it now. Chances are, you’ve heard of the game: Monopoly.   But there are some other good ones. Barnes & Noble, Walmart or Target should have these. Try the games:

  1. Yahtzee ( a dice game)
  2.  Clue ( a who-dunnit crime game that leaves Clues)
  3.  Aggravation  (whoever gets all of their marbles around the board first, wins. But it takes rolling a 6 or a 1 to be able to move a marble out of the “home row”. There is also decison-making. Do you want to move-out another new marble or further advance one thats already out on the board?

Movies and Games. Gather ’round and enjoy some fun. And re-connect. For now, stay home and stay healthy.

Boundaries & Family. “Kindness” or Manipulation?

There is a good book on Boundaries, which you can get through Amazon.com called: Where To Draw The Line, by Anne Katherine.

But here’s a scenario/question I’d like to share, not in the book.
Who is in charge in your house or apartment? You are, or should be. Why? Because it’s *your* place! But if that’s true, then what if:

Your brother or sister comes over to stay for a few days, maybe a week. Let’s say your parents are also coming over, too and that you have a 2 or 3 bedroom place, so there is room for everyone to stay overnight. Even though they are family, you are still in charge of your own place and family or not, they should “respect your house” and that it’s “your house, your rules”. After all, who is in charge in their house? Simple enough. But what if your brother or sister decided to intrude on or ignore your boundaries “by doing a good thing”? Such as: Family is visiting you. Let’s say you go to the Mall in the daytime because you enjoy it and will be gone all afternoon til say, an hour before dinner. But, while you were out, let’s say your brother or your sister got the bright idea of going the grocery store, buying some meat, veggies and a bunch of food items and–without informing or asking you at all–just decided that they would cook dinner for everyone, using your kitchen, and they wont let you pay them back for the food they bought. You come back from the Mall, walk in the door and its 15 minutes before everything is ready.

It might be very tempting to just say: KEWWWL! Somebody cooked for me and it didnt cost me a dime, but—think further. is it really as simple and innocent as that? Or, would you feel like someone else “took over” and “ran right over you without asking first”? Maybe so they could one-up you and be “star of the show” in your own house? Or at the very least, ignoring you and overstepping their bounds? Let’s go further still. Suppose you do think so, but that your Mom or Dad defends that person, saying how it was all so “kind-hearted” of them, would you still think it was wrong? Are you going by what you feel or how others tell you how you should feel? How would you feel? Why? What if after dinner you all wanted to go see a movie and this same person picked the one you will all go to see, while visiting your house? Don’t you feel like this person is “taking over”? If no, why not? If yes, suppose they offered to pay the bill for everyone, does that mean they get their way or make the decision? Beware of manipulators offering gifts. How do you feel about all this? Boundaries are a very interesting topic.  –  TheOwl30

 

Boundaries, Narcissism and Assertiveness

Boundaries! Personal Rights! How much will relatives or friends accuse you of being selfish or being a “narcissist” if you dare to lay down any rules? How do -you- decide whether it’s being “too controlling” or you are excersizing a legitimate right, even if someone else doesn’t like it?

Try this scenario:
Let’s assume you have your own car and your own separate place to live, but in the same town or within 25 minutes away.

Question: in your siblings house, who is in charge?
Answer: they are.
Why?
Because it”s their house. Simple.
Next question: who is in charge in their car?
Answer: they are.
Why?
Because it’s their car. Again, simple.

So! If they are a passenger in your car and you are driving, and you have the radio on, or a playing a CD in your car while driving, and they don’t like that song, or that kind of music and tell you: that music sucks. I don’t want to listen to that crap. Play it on your own time when I’m  not here.
What will you do?
Who is in charge in *their* car? Would an aquaintance or someone at work who’s car broke down and needs a ride, would that person tell you what to listen to or to shut it off? I think very likely NOT. Why should family have any more “power”?

Have you ever considered that their wanting you to shut it off is *their* way of being a control freak or trying to dominate you or for them to be “in charge”? Could it be another small way of them trying to manipulate you?

Suppose they said they would turn it off in their car if you didn’t like it. Do you believe them? And what if they did? Should their personal choices require you to be obligated?  What if they came into your house and told you to change the TV show (which you like) to something else? Do you really have to let people dominate you in little ways like this in order to not be “selfish” or “inconsiderate”? They don’t mind one bit that you are giving in to them, but who’s house is it?

It you can’t have boundaries:  1. In your own house, or
2. In your own car—where can you??  Where do they?
Do you disagree? Why?
#Boundaries #Manipulation #PowerTrips #Assertiveness #Respect #Communication #Family #PersonalRights #Teens #Adults #Guilt #Happiness #Relationships