The Occult

The Occult. There, I said it. Does it sound a bit creepy?

The word Occult means “hidden”.  Not generally known to the public.

Today when we hear occult, we often think of Magic or ESP.  I don’t follow or practice the Occult much. But I want to know about it. What is it? What is the appeal? What good is it? Why study it at all? Luckily, there is the late Dion Fortune and her book: Sane Occultism.

The book is like a big sister or mentor showing you the way. Like having a conversation with her. She’s informative and explains it all quite well. A good read.

You are still free to practice, not practice, believe it or not believe it. But now you have a better understanding of how it works and what its about. That was the idea. And that’s enough.

Friendship & Respect

Things We Shouldn’t Have To Say To New Friends But Want Them To Know Anyway
1. Call first, before you come over. Don’t surprise me.
2. When I say: Sure! Come on over…that means –you.  ONLY you! Don’t bring over 2 of your buddies from work, or any kid in diapers, or your dog.
3. Unless it’s an emergency, don’t call before 9am or after 8pm. I probably won’t answer my phone. I’ll do the same.
4. When you come over, don’t block my car in the driveway.
5. Don’t walk in with your unfinished burger & fries, bag of potato chips or soda pop. I didn’t invite you over to dump your garbage.  I have food, or will offer you a beer, or we’ll go somewhere.
6. Absolutely no smoking in my place.
Do I really need to say these things? Yes, as I feel there are just too many all-too-casual and lax people out there. I’m within my rights. So are you, the other way around.
Who is in charge at *your* house?

Now let’s dare to go one step further. What if I said: when you come over, leave your cell phone out in your car. Why? (This one, I may not actually do, but it’s tempting. The other things listed above are more important).
Because if you’re coming over, it should be to visit and talk to each other. So let’s do that. And you’ll have my attention, too. What I don’t want to happen is to have you no sooner arrive and in 2 minutes your phone rings and you gab and yak and talk and gab on your phone with one of your other friends for 25 minutes right in front of me as I sit there, uninvolved. No way!

Now that’s a good test-scenario. I wonder how most “pro-boundary people” would handle that one. One person gets accused of “flexing their muscles too much” while the other one is rude and inconsiderate. Cute! What do you think, and Why? People say we all have the right to have Boundaries, but will we be “control freaks” if we do? Feel free to leave a comment, below.  See my other posts at: thewordpressowl.wordpress.com
#Boundaries #Friends #Assertiveness #Communication #Psychology #Courtesy #Respect #20-Somethings,  #Love, #Relationships #Phones #Psychology #Personality  #Friendship

Music. “Big Dreams in a Small Town” by Restless Heart

I like this song:  “Big Dreams in a Small Town” by Restless Heart.  From their Vevo video on YouTube.   Enjoy!   🙂

#Music #Teens #Students #20-somethings #Country-Music #Rock-n-Roll #PartyTunes

Boundaries, Narcissism and Assertiveness

Boundaries! Personal Rights! How much will relatives or friends accuse you of being selfish or being a “narcissist” if you dare to lay down any rules? How do -you- decide whether it’s being “too controlling” or you are excersizing a legitimate right, even if someone else doesn’t like it?

Try this scenario:
Let’s assume you have your own car and your own separate place to live, but in the same town or within 25 minutes away.

Question: in your siblings house, who is in charge?
Answer: they are.
Why?
Because it”s their house. Simple.
Next question: who is in charge in their car?
Answer: they are.
Why?
Because it’s their car. Again, simple.

So! If they are a passenger in your car and you are driving, and you have the radio on, or a playing a CD in your car while driving, and they don’t like that song, or that kind of music and tell you: that music sucks. I don’t want to listen to that crap. Play it on your own time when I’m  not here.
What will you do?
Who is in charge in *their* car? Would an aquaintance or someone at work who’s car broke down and needs a ride, would that person tell you what to listen to or to shut it off? I think very likely NOT. Why should family have any more “power”?

Have you ever considered that their wanting you to shut it off is *their* way of being a control freak or trying to dominate you or for them to be “in charge”? Could it be another small way of them trying to manipulate you?

Suppose they said they would turn it off in their car if you didn’t like it. Do you believe them? And what if they did? Should their personal choices require you to be obligated?  What if they came into your house and told you to change the TV show (which you like) to something else? Do you really have to let people dominate you in little ways like this in order to not be “selfish” or “inconsiderate”? They don’t mind one bit that you are giving in to them, but who’s house is it?

It you can’t have boundaries:  1. In your own house, or
2. In your own car—where can you??  Where do they?
Do you disagree? Why?
#Boundaries #Manipulation #PowerTrips #Assertiveness #Respect #Communication #Family #PersonalRights #Teens #Adults #Guilt #Happiness #Relationships

Living an Adult Life Should Still Have Joy

In my opinion, the sad part of being an Adult is that too often people behave as if they believe that Adulthood means they have to go through Life much more serious about everything.

Responsibility is a good thing and part of being a good adult. But they don’t have to become a Workaholic, or join committees, or put in too much overtime, and then pride themself on how “motivated” they are but–have no life outside of their career!
Nearly “All drudgery, all the time!”
All in the name of being responsible.
But not much Joy.
It’s interesting. You ask them “what’s goin’ on?” and it’s nearly always about how they are so “busy” running lots of errands and going to the bank, paying their phone bill, their heat bill, seeing the dentist, mowing their lawn, giving their car a tune up, etc.

OK, so they have it together. That’s good. We should get those things done.
The bad and sad part is: That’s it!
With far too few exceptions. Where is the Fun?
—and it is much, much too rare that you see, or hear, them talk about any funny movie they saw, or any beach-trip they took, or a new restaurant they ate in, or a new book they read, or that they went bowling or played pool, Rode a bike, hiked a trail, had a picnic or spent 2 hrs. in the Mall for fun?
Nope. 100 excuses.
They are just “too busy”. Or,
It costs too much (it doesn’t), it’s too far to go (it really isn’t) , or they’re just “not into that” (but they used to like it). And I don’t just mean partying.
Even seeing a movie in a theatre doesn’t happen anywhere near like it used to. Maybe later this summer. If they “have time”. Busyness and “getting my stuff done” has become almost like a new drug, (or at least a boring rut).

They don’t see it that way at all.
After all, there’s work to be done. (Only? They will say no but what else do they do?)
That’s their right and they are not here to live up to what I think is best. After all, it’s their life.

But I notice:
A) Their Life is losing it’s former variety, and becoming quite a bit more repetitive.
B) While becoming more Adult, their increased “maturity” has caused them to have less of a sense of humor. They get embaressed more easily. (God only knows why). I’m not talking about anything wild or outrageous or glaring, but just too on guard in public about what anyone might see or hear and too worried about it. But most people don’t care. They probably won’t even notice. But the alertness and concern persists.
C) For some reason, Etiquette sometimes becomes a game of: they were more polite or considerate than you were. Example: you went out to eat and you left a tip. But they had to leave a bigger one.

One more thing: I have sometimes joked that if I live to be 85, I’ll be wild and shake my Tush like Elvis. Most people laugh when they hear that. And admire that spirit of being playful even in old age.
But then, isn’t it sad when as Adults, we don’t “let our hair down” at 50 yrs. old even if it’s 2 notches down from that? All in the name of “maturity”, but where’s the Joy?

#20-Somethings #Adulthood #Growth #PersonalGrowth #Happiness #Life #Career #Teens #Goals #Psychology #SelfImage

Questioning Relationship Advice

 

I am glad to discover more younger people writing posts about Personal growth and thinking about relationships. At least they are analyzing their life and taking time to think. This is good.

But let’s go a bit deeper. I offer some thoughts & challenges. There are so many slogans and sayings we hear often these days, but are they really true? Things such as:
1. “It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it.” Really?  Yes and no.

You *are* often free to walk away, -but-, when folks say it’s not what happens to you but how you react to it…really? 99 times out of 100 that’s just a beating around the bush way of implying we should put up with it, not react, and not let it get to us. At least it amounts to that. Their advice is all about “enduring” it, but not stopping it. So let’s ask them: Really?!? Would you honestly tell that to a wife who gets beaten by an alcoholic husband that it’s not what happens, it’s just her reaction? It DOES get to you, or her, and it isn’t just her reaction. It’s a just plain bad circumstance and the guy is an Ass! This leads me to something else:

2. “I love him/her Unconditionally”. Gawwd! What a line of total BS. There are *always* “conditions”. Again, would you allow yourself to be beaten by a raging alcoholic and still say:…”but I love him/her Unconditionally”? I hope not.

You will love him/her AS LONG AS you are not horribly mistreated. That’s a “condition” right there. And it should be. There is more:

3. Maybe you say:  “I’m learning to let things end when they need to.” Ok, but—How soon is that? There are less and less married couples these days who are together long enough to celebrate their 30th wedding Anniversary. I am reminded of an old couple being asked how they managed to stay together so long and they replied: “You see, we were born in a time before things were disposable. We made an effort to fix things instead of just casually throwing them away”. Food for thought.  On the other hand, maybe you had alot of “sparks” and lust in the beginning but now that that has toned down, you realize how little else you really have in common and it’s time to go. Only you can decide.

4. Some people say they  “live without expectations”. I feel this is unrealistic. Everyone has expectations.

It might be true that if you don’t have them, you will feel less hurt. But A) it wont stop the loneliness and B) if you don’t have any expectations and just “let it happen”, doesn’t this sound like resignation and setting yourself up to be a doormat? So I offer this next one:

5. How about trying this: Make two short lists. The first list is: 5 short deal-breakers or pet peeves that you absolutely DO NOT WANT in a romantic long-term relationship. The 2nd list is 5 things you definitely DO want from your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife. Its easy to be so “busy”. I hope I take the time, myself, to do this later.

I’m no expert, just a guy who has fun kicking ideas around. I am theOwl30. You can find my site at: thewordpressowl.wordpress.com Thanks for reading this.  I also like posts about: Star Wars movies, 50s-60s Rock-n-Roll, Books and more.
#Relationships #Romance #Psychology #Love #SelfImage #20-Somethings #Communication #Growth #Happiness

Star Wars 8, the Last Jedi

Star Wars 8, The Last Jedi has so many questions that need answering.

Who are Rey’s parents? Where are they now? Who is Supreme Leader Snoke? Is he really Lord Vitiate? Palpatine? Darth Vader? Luke says the Jedi must end. But hasn’t he had any communication during all of this time with the force-ghosts of Yoda or Obi-Wan Kenobi? What have they said to Luke? Is he ignoring them? Why? Has he learned more than they knew? Who is Maz Kanata? Does Snoke know about her? Will Rey and Luke be in episode 9? What new powers might Luke have now?

#StarWars8 #TheLastJedi #theOwl30 #LukeSkywalker #Rey #College #Teens #Movies #Scifi #Jedi #Sith